shifting mists
2001-09-02 19:59:49 (UTC)

memory lane ...

... five years ago .. i wrote this .... right after the end
of a long term abusive relationship ...

Composition 101, 4:45pm class
September 28, 1996
Heart vs. Mind - Essay #2 (process)

All women make mistakes in life. One of the
largest and most common is their tendency to fall in "love"
with the wrong man. This has solely to do with an
orchestration instigated and controlled by the heart.

The heart is ultimately searching for love. In its
search it seems to mistakably believe that in giving love
thou shall receive love in return. And so, with this belief
firmly in hand it begins a series of delicate yet ruthlessly
orchestrated maneuvers.

First and foremost, the heart knows that not just
any recipient will do. It begins its plan by searching out
viable candidates, basing its judgment upon visual appeal.
It searches for a man with whom the woman will feel
physically comfortable around and attracted to.

Second, after finding this appealing candidate the
heart enlists the aid of the woman's hormones. Usually
having them jump around and make a lot of noise, effectively
deafening the woman temporarily to the messages of warning
and caution being sent from her brain. She sees him, he
sees her, he smiles, she bats her eyelashes, they become
friendly and soon she finds herself smitten.

The next step in the heart's orchestration is to
override of the brain. This is a relatively easy task for
the heart. Most women, especially young women, listen to
their heart much more closely than they do their logic of
their brain, and so, with the added help of the vigilantly
active hormones the logic connections for the brain are soon
jumbled. With all the confusion going on and the virtual
loss of logic feed from the brain the woman is left with
only one option--to depend upon and listen solely to her

After defeating its one major obstacle (the brain)
the heart is assured success. It begins whispering of
eternal true love and the bliss of togetherness with this
man it has chosen for her. It continuously points out the
man's finer points, and of course, checking and rerouting
any and all messages that might insinuate any faults the man
might have that would be sent from the brain.

By this time the woman is completely smitten. What
woman wouldn't be? ... She has this wonderful man before her
with no major faults whom her heart thoroughly approves of
and her mind must have no objections to since she has not
felt any warnings or cautions from it since the beginning.

This orchestra of deception conducted by the heart
can go on for days, weeks, months, sometimes even years. If
the woman's brain is clever it will not give up the struggle
but will lie in waiting for the heart to make one fatal
mistake so the brain might regain control.

And most times, sooner or later, the heart becomes
tired and makes this mistake. Needing rest and believing
that the mind has given up the fight, the heart relaxes its
vigilance. The mind seeing its chance to gain control once
again leaps into action, rushing in with all its pent up
doubts and fears as well as opening up the woman's eyes to
the man's faults and, ultimately, to reality. Once defeated
in such a rush the heart is often unable to gain control
once again using the same male candidate and so in pain,
broken and defeated, the heart must wait until it once again
has the opportunity to conduct another orchestra in