Mateo-N-Brandi4-Ever

I don't know what I feel, love or hurt maybe confusion....

Well, today went okay, I guess. Well until the end of the
day when my boyfriend went to the club. I mean I can't go
with him cause its and 18 and over club i am 17 and he is
25 so..... Anyways, I get so scared with him going there
with all the hoes... I mean they are so easy and I don't
know how he will react to someone like that. I am so
afraid he is cheating on me. I mean there for a while I
totally trusted him until his asshole brother (which is in
love with me) keeps trying to break us up by saying he is
cheating on me... I mean I didnt talk to him for so long
because he was making me think Mateo was really cheating on
me, but since I didnt talk to him I got myself to trust him
again. Then just yesterday, about 1 month since the last
time I talked to him he called me, he was drunk as always
saying mateo was in the room with another girl and she
wasnt leaving till the morning...... I knew it wasn't true
but you know that little voice that says what if it is
true. So anyways, he asked to come to my house and fuck me
typical drunk asshole trying to break someone up and get a
piece in the process.... Anyways I told him to go to sleep
and think of the stupid rediculous fucking shit he is
saying right now and wake up in the morning and think of
how stupid you are..... Then I hung up and got on the net.
Well funny, 10 minutes after this fucking phone call my
boyfriend called me and said he just woke up and apologized
for not calling me like he was supposed to and that he
loved me and would talk to me in the morning... Hmmm...
What happened to the girl that was staying all night, that
made me know it was all a lie and VICTOR (my boyfriends
brother is such an asshole! Anyways, but the point of this
all is that whole conversation the other day has got me
back to this thing of questioning my man if he is faithful
to me or not. Well tonight before he went to the club he
called me and told me he was going... He asked me if it was
okay and i said I guess but that I am so jealous because he
is there with all them hoes and I am not there.... And then
he said I won't do nothing baby! I told him that I do
trust him it's just everytime his brother pulls this
fucking shit it leads me to think otherwise.... He told me
his brother is crazy and I can't let that get to me because
he is always drunk and never knows what he is saying which
is true... Well then he promised me he would not mess with
no other girls, and he did this on his own I didnt make
him... When he promises something he means it, its just the
way he is, maybe because he is mexican and it is like going
against god or something. But he promised me and I believe
him I still was real jelous though that I was not with
him. Anyways I told him to call when he got home, which
was 2 and 1/2 hours after he left.... not to bad, but he
left a message on our voice mail cause I was on the net and
missed the damn call... I just feel so bad for not trusting
him cause I know he trusts me. I love him with all my
heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I
know I am so young but I waited my whole life for someone
to truly love me and I think I have found the one.... I
mean he treats me with respect... For once I have found a
decent guy and I can't fucking trust him.... I swear the
next time his brother calls me I am gonna go there and kick
his fucking ass.... He has to get over it I love his
brother that's how it was in the beginning and that's how
it will always be.... I used to love victor as my own
brother until he started this shit.... I mean I was always
there for him when my so called best friend was treating
him like shit, because I know how it feels and I wanted to
be a good friend to him.... And now he does this to me what
an asshole!!!!!!!!
-Brandi