pennylane

punk girl, interrupted
2002-12-23 22:05:21 (UTC)

"why's life so confusing,maybe im just outta my mind"

lastnight was wieeerdddd. i got all missin steve all of a
sudden so after much condsideration, decided 2 call him.
he kept saying he would come see me..and i was
all"uhhuh..sure"..HE DID! i felt so stupid..hahaha. he
hung out for a couple hours..it felt like i hadnt seen him
in forever. once again...my emotions got in control of
me ..and we did things that surprised me..just because i
dont ecpect him to want to do certina things with me.
everyone says its too fucked up when you invovle anything
ohysical in friendship but i dunno..maybe we just fulfill
eachother's needs or something..ugh i dunno, i dont get
it. all i keep thinking is..maybe when he was kissing
me..he was thinkin about the girl he says he loves. im
not upset at all(which is even surprinsing 2 me) . no
matter what we do..i just feel like i was hanging with a
best bud thats all. sometimes i want him to be mine..i
wish i could keep him.,.but i know i cant. its
complicated..yet not. i dunno..all i know is i miss him
=).
i got a letter from christina ( a girl from chat too) and
a xmas package from krista yay..two cute lil books to
cheer me up.shes so awesome!
i called in sick today and my fkn boss is such a bith
about it..i hate my job lately..no appreciation..and i
feel like they only talk to me whe i do something wrong.
ugh.
oh well what can i do.


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