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pardon me...

while i burst into flames...thanks incubus, im not a big
fan, but that's a pretty good song.
worked the show friday. took a few efforts to get it set
up though. no way to pick up the ring, so we're all
flipping out. i go to rich's bout 3 to work on my singlet.
bill comes over later to hang out and he helps too. we put
this red X over lapping a spaced out AJ. on the legs we put
an A and a J connected vertically. it was wicked bad. all
the letters were silver on my black and blue singlet. it
looked badass. so 6 rolls around, mike is off of work and
we're gonna meet up at a gas station on cadieux and 94.
it's a lil past 7:30 when they finally get there. me, bill
and rich ride up to port huron; travis, mike and the truck
driver meet us up there a lil later. it's 9, we load the
fucker in 15 minutes and drive our fucking asses bout 100
miles to taylor and drop it off at the building. ohyeah,
nick meet us on the freeway to help unload.
so i get home about...1 and i need to get some shit
from meijer, so i head up there with laura and get to bed
about 4:30 am...only to get up at 7:30 and go back to
taylor to set up the ring by 9. we fucked around all day,
got rich a barbell for his eyebrow, mine didn't fit
through. im facing gutter and he didn't show up till bout 6
or 6:30. so we work out a rough match. i was really nervous
and i kept forgetting shit. the match sucked. i slipped on
my devils twist moonsault. my right foot slipped off the
rope and i landed right on my face. hurt like hell. i was
so pissed off. the match wasn't even good either. i didn't
know what to do. i lost ANOTHER o-ring for my septum
bullet, i lost the plug for my left ear and i fucked up
really bad. i went out back, and everyone is like "don't
beat yourself up." "even the pros fuck up" rich...he seemed
pissed off at me for being upset that i sucked. nick
said "dude, you made my heart stop when you landed. i
thought we'd be carrying you to the hospital." i sat
outside with my singlet down, freezing my ass off.
i was fighting off tears. chrissy came out to "comfort"
me. whatever, i still want her. mike came out to take a
piss and said something like "you alright, cause it looks
like your crying." fuck you mike. you knew i was, so did
chrissy, but i was fighting it. i never did cry, but i had
tears in my eyes. i just sat out back the rest of the
night. i never went out front. dave laura kate joe and chad
came back. joe said, "how'd that fall treat you?" with a
little smirk on his face i almost beat the living shit out
of him. i pretended not to hear. chad says, giggling "were
you supposed to slip on the high ropes?" fuck you. you two
fuckers, least i had the balls to go after my dream. but
how would you feel if you fucked up your dream in front of
500 people. assholes.
i know mike was really disappointed with my talent. im
probably not gonna get booked next show...if ever again.
and if i do, it's not gonna be in the opening match. ill
never have status like that again, ill be a 3-5 minute
midcarder. the only reason i got that match was cause i
took that beating from tommy starr. guttter was pretty cool
about it. before, maynard said something and he
replies "no, he took that beating from tommy, there's no
reason we gotta break him in again." and the thanked me
afterwards and told me not to worry about it. everyone knew
i fucked up though. everyone...knew...i...fucked...up...
i think im gonna take out my septum ring and just go
balls out on wrestling. im gonna train my ass off, get in
shape, build some muscle and get a lot fucking better. i
need to, it's my dream, why do it halfassed?
the battle royal was kinda funny, i had nick and rich
eliminate me early so i could work on my match. iwent out
head over heels and landed on my feet and fell you know. so
i rolled over onto my back and see this big black thing
fall on me. i was fine, but it turned out to be nick. it
was funny. on the way back, i pushed him to kinda maybe
start a feud. i hope i can get over this shitty match and
move on. im gonna train my heart out on saturday. then hit
up the suicide machines. i gotta get better, i want to have
good matches. i want to be solid. i want to work, i want to
be a wrestler.

mike (sucks at wrestling)