Darkening Thoughts of Nevia Lexi
2001-09-02 02:21:08 (UTC)

Can't get you out of my head

Dear Kelly,

I was upset yesterday. I thought I had lost the diary. I
was so sure I had it in my bag - and when I looked into my
bag... it was missing. MISSING!

I was like - damn.. damn, damn, damn, damn.

I mean- it's a private journal about my thoughts and
feelings and, what if someone found the diary and read it?
I would be so, so scared.

What if Tom or Jamie or Kris or Kitty or Phoenix or anybody
read it? How could I explain why I thought Kitty was well
not something mother want me to be, or have a relationship
with Kris who - well - have no morality. Or Tom/Jamie's
relationship. Mother anties bisexuals... so that won't be

I had for one time, thought mother had my diary. You see,
she reads my things sometimes, and that is so not nice, I
have pure jitters of keeping a diary.

I looked all around the place... you know ... in the
locker, in the bag, in the class room, in my room, in the
study room.... arrghhh... I was getting deperate. I nearly

Well, Kris was in the library when I was looking for the
diary. I looked desperate that I would do anything, even
sleep with him if it would meant the return of you. He just
smiled at me and continue on reading whatever he was
reading in the library. He reads a lot - he kiss a lot - he
loves sex a lot.

I gave up anyway looking for you. I was happy if no one
reads you. That would be good because blackmail is bad and
I don't think I would think twice to kill the person who
has my diary. I really would end that person's life if he
plans to publish my private writings.

Do you know where I found you? Under my bed - of all
places. I totally forgotten that I shoved you under the bed
when mother told me to go to sleep. Sheesh. I am happy

Today's or yesterday's detail of life...

Nothing much happened. I saw Kris. He kinda looks so good
in his glasses ... and the way he smiled lightly when he
looked up at me. Ok... I don't have the hots for Kris. But,
god damn, I just realised why girls were like so willing to
have threesome with him. He was so Hot!

Stop it!

Well... I bumped into someone today. A new student. I don't
know what's his name, but wow - his smile just made me lust
after him.... ummm.. I am shutting up now.

What else? Kitty was paniking because she was afraid she
was pregnant. She took her pills - but her period has not
come yet for the second time. I was like - oh, god.

She is afraid her parents would kill her. I mean - they are
so strict about sexuality - and if she has a baby - I don't
know what they would do to her. They might asked her to
abort the baby. That or find the guy who made her pregnant
and marry her. The deal is - Kitty doesn't know who is the
father. O-k.

I told her to list down all the guys she ever slept with.
And she was like... all?? I had to specify - within the
three months period...

Hmm... I am going to sleep now. Night.