Gaz

Fuck myself

blah.

i haven't eaten in three or four days, i can't remember
now. but looking at food makes me sick. thinking makes me
sick. crying makes me sick.
the one person who said they wanted me as a friend won't
even talk to me. and it hurts. he said he cares and i'm his
friend and he doesn't want me cutting. but why shouldn't i
now?? he won't fucking talk to me. i should cut myself so
deep that i will bleed to death before anyone finds out
what i've done. nothing matters to me right now. i have no
job, no car, no friends, and lost the one person who i
thought loved me. i ruin everything. i haven't been this
depressed since before i first meet him. but no i don't
know if i really love him or not. it hurts but it doesn't.
maybe i just don't want to be alone. but i don't want to be
with anyone ever again. i don't want to go through this
again.
i feel like i'm going to throw up.