Cosmic Rain
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2002-12-21 14:20:18 (UTC)

someone's words i read.....

I read this in a person's journal. It made me miss Mel. It
made me think of all the things I want too. All the things
I thought I might have had.. All the things I lost. All the
things I sometimes dream of. All the things I sometimes
saw. Some of it made me even see myself and Mel.Some of it
made me smile, because I thought the exact same
things..Wanted to do the exact same things...Some of it
made me sad..Some of it made me contemplative...Some of it
made me realise how alone I feel. Some of it made me think
of the past..Some of it made me think of now and the
future...All of it I wish I could have said myself...

"I want somebody to sleep naked with the rest of my life,
and cuddle up during a movie, on a couch. Stay up all night
talking about nothing. Get lost in the woods together.
Challenge me, challenge her. Talk about dreams, make
dreams, make love in the candle light, in the truck, in the
shower, in the woods while we're lost. Have fights, the
kind that only really matter just as your having them.
Someone I can wrestle with, ya know play hard sometimes,
and not worry about breaking a nail, or an arm. A girl who
will bring me flowers, once and a while, maybe a rock too,
or a shell of some sort, something she saw that made her
think of me, made her think, "this might make my girl
smile." as she smiles to herself. A gal who wants me, maybe
even needs me, just a little, enough anyway to hold onto me
with everything she's got. She knows she can have just
about anyone she wants, there's a line at the door when I
get the paper, but she hardly even notices them, just
laughs at the absurdity of it all as she falls into my arms
at night. I'll tell her just exactly what I think, most of
the time, and she'll tell me to sit up straight when we go
out, I'll laugh and wrinkle up my nose, she'll beg me not
to wear my old Hawaiian shirts. She'll learn from me,
she'll change right in front of my eyes, as they bounce
from gray, to blue to green, she'll dance with them, with
me. Long into the night we'll rock and sway, as the smell
of us swirls around us. She'll have a cool leather jacket,
so will I. She'll read to me. She'll leave me notes. She'll
forgive me, cause I'll mess up, I'll forgive her too.
She'll try to get me to like beer, it'll never happen. When
we go out and she gets those looks, I'll be jealous, she'll
think it's funny. We'll respect each other, we'll be honest
and loyal. I'll trust her with my heart, not a wall in
sight, she'll feel that freedom, she'll play in it, it'll
make her young. We'll have a garden, with lettuce, and
carrots, and tomatoes, my protests will be fruitless. We'll
hug everyday. She'll be beautiful, I won't let her forget
it. She'll organize a surprise party for me, I'll be really
surprised. I'll brag about her. She'll touch my face more
than any other part of my body, when we're away from each
other, that's what I'll miss the most. I'll tell her that,
she'll smile. She'll smile when she thinks of me, she'll
laugh out loud. She'll put up with my belting out of me
first and the gimme gimme's in the car, she'll think it's
cute, for a while. She'll wink at me, I'll love that.
She'll drive. We'll subscribe to a lot of magazines, we'll
read 'em in the sun. I'll fix things, She'll cook. She'll
have a picture of me at work, she'll even talk to it
sometimes, as if I have the answers, and maybe I am the
answer. She'll grab my hand when we go out, at first it'll
make me nervous, but then it becomes so commonplace I don't
even notice. She'll appreciate that, but she'll never tell
me so, it's OK, I already know. We'll look at each other,
gaze really, exploring from eyes to eyes, soul to soul.
She'll hate country. Damn it. I won't be able to get enough
of her. The way she'll make me feel inside, in her
presence. She'll listen. She'll buy hiking boots for my
birthday, for herself. Cool. We'll watch each others
favorite movies, she'll like some of mine, I'll like all of
hers. I'll cry for no reason, and she'll hold be till long
after I've stopped. We'll argue over money, I'll hate every
second of it. She'll laugh at most of my jokes, she'll
tickle me way too much. She'll describe me as charming,
funny, laid back, her best friend. We'll drive to nowhere,
and we'll both know when we get there. She'll buy me a
ring, I'll never take it off. We'll kiss for hours, cuddle
all day, nap together. She'll have a dry sense of humor
that I won't be able to get enough of. She'll remind me I'm
alive everyday, just by the feeling I get, the way my heart
speeds up, when I wake up, and there she is, with me of all
people. "

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