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2002-12-21 05:06:53 (UTC)

Amanda's Top 10 Secret little known facts about Santa

10. Lives at the North Pole because he loves white powder.

9. Put Prancer and Dancer to sleep for being "too gay."

8. There's been more than one Mrs. Claus over the years,
Santa's got a gun and a short temper.

7. Hates milk and cookies, would rather children leave him
cold hard cash.

6. Started out as a mall Santa, worked his way up through
the organization.

5. Elves are actually Ukrainian orphans he bought on the
black market.

4. Shot a reindeer for running over Grandma.

3. Is able to visit every child in one night by slowing
down time with reality-altering hallucinogens.

2. Pimped out the sleigh, calls it the Snow-hoe-bile.

1. Often heard saying as he speeds out of sight, "Merry
Christmas to all and to all...oh, kiss my ass."