My Reality
Ad 2:
2002-12-21 04:40:46 (UTC)

a ragged lil christmas...

you can always tell when christmas time is near in this
sad lil country town. yards are dcorated with reindeer
and fake snow and lights that dont match, there are at
least three plastic santa's in each yard, children
disappear from the roads and stay in because its getting
too cold, wal mart becomes the mecca for the disturbed and
deranged, those wonderful yards of lard, or as some people
call them christmas sausages become a gourmet treat, which
is humorous because when are they in demand any other time
of the year, the home for the holidays college kids become
bored and anxious, and start dating people they jus
shouldnt, parents get weird, its like they wanna love each
other but they just cant, even though they are trying
harder especially around the wrapping
becomes an art, when typically most people dont give a
flying fuck, snow becomes a nightly prayer, you actually
start shaving your legs on a regular basis because of all
the proper family functions you have to wear a skirt to,
your relatives come over to harass you, tell you it seems
you have gained a few pounds and ask you why the heck you
dont have a bf yet and then say hmm, maybe the two are
connected, people pinch your cheeks even though you are 19
they still see you as a child, siblings become
unbeleivably jealous and actually start tallying the
amount of presents and their monetary value to see who
happens to be mommy and daddy's favorite this
year...poeple see it fit to make thier pets lives a livng
hell but creatively making them into elves and reindeer
with cheesey over priced costumes, i, i dont know if
others do this, but i, feel the need to dress up more, i
mean christmas was always made up to be a huge event so i
feel i should look the part, family binge drinking becomes
ok momentarily until someone goes a lil too far and
punches uncle bob, department stores play those nifty lil
tricks like hey buy a sweater for four thousand dollars
and you get the second one for a penny, bfs start to look
like deer caught in headlights as they realize they dont
know their gf as well as they thought they did, umm what
the hell, she wants a gift?...i wonder if she likes tube
socks?...gfs start to realize they have put way too much
faith in their bfs as they fork over hundreds of dollars
for prized possesions and life long dream items, husbands
and wives inevitably try and play the we wont get each
other anything for christmas game which always ends in
tears, the nut house becomes full as families flock to see
their mentally insane for ten minutes, i should know,
hometown is full of proud for broughton, can someone
explain to me why the hell manicure sets and beard trimers
are so damn important at christmas, i mean really do these
people not have nails and facial hair any other time of
the year?, who decided that lil jars of jam were a great
way to say i love you, when was it decided that your aunt
fran's nephews dog should get a gift? who are these people
and why am i spending money on them, do you ever play the
who the fuck is that and am i actually related to them
game at this time of the year, and why does your best
friends gf/bf always decide the week before christmas is
the best time to dump them so thye can spend the entire
holiday moping and moaning to you about the smell of their
shampoo and how they licked your lips during sex...this is
my holiday too god dman it...back the fuck off and let me
enjoy the lil fucker...whats with those people who just
leave the lights up until like easter?..i mean is that
really a look that the great bunny in the sky was going
for? any of you still get the urge to write the
letter to santa...leave some cookies? such a nerd, i
want to recreate the magic of when i was lil and i never
noticed the big fights and the major eruptions, i want to
back to that age where nothing seemed to phase my
christmas mood...i want to get toys and fun stuff in place
of shampoo and razors....i want a christmas where i dont
see the sky high prices and the drunks on the street
corner and the hungry kids in wal mart beggin for a barbie
doll, and i want to see my parents happy, and i dont want
to notice the droopy lil santas that people sit in their
front yards that have been there year after year after
year, in the same place that just seems kinda half
hearted...i wouldnt mind a christmas of being oblivious..i
mean i came damn near close last year when i had pnemonia
and was near death, ok maybe a lil exaggerated, anywho,
but this year reality is starting to set in and i am
seeing that all of those perfect christmas' werent really
so perfect at all, its just a lot of the bad memories fade
and you dont recall the year your sister tried to choke
you on christmas eve and you busting her lip, or the year
your grandparents left in a huff because your grandmother
ate the special sandwhich dad had made, or your first
christmas with a long forgotten exbf where you got him
tshirts and he got you a dont remember
your grandfather getting piss ass drunk on christmas day
calling you up just to tell you what a fat lil kid you
are..that shit is in your head somewhere but for some
reason you blow them off over the years and try to make
each new christmas a spectacular event...well when the
time comes and the holiday is fast apparoacing all those
shitty things pop into your head by sheer coincidence and
you realize why people used to tell you as a kid how badly
holidays suck...its a right of passage...when theres no
more santa, theres no more that im an adult i get
to enjoy a whole other type of fun that all those toys
couldnt provide me...the hours and hours of time spent
starring at my famiily and realizing how funny it is that
they are all truely fucked up in the head.