LostInMyOwnWorld

Locked Inside my Book
2001-09-01 01:56:25 (UTC)

Life never gets better.

hey,
well it's obvious that life never gets any better. I
thought or was hoping that going to a new school would be
better for me. i'd make new better friends and find people
i had stuff in common with and hang out with and i'd be
able to build some better social skills but i have no
friends here what so ever. I feel so lonely and it'll get
worse and worse. i hate the feeling of sitting all alone at
lunch time, feeling like such an outkast. I shouldn't be
surprised tho b/c this is what i predicted and as always..i
am right. Life sux! This new school isn't going to bring
any good change in my life. it's only going to bring me
down farther than i was before. why do i even bother with
anything. my life is sooo pointless. i'm just living the
same bullshit over and over again. i already feel like the
ugly freak of the school. i won't even recall why b/c i
don't have significant proof but all i know is that i hate
school and i hate my life.

my cousin maria was suppose to call me today to let me know
whether or not she was going to pick me up tonight or
tomorrow morning but she never called. I just love how
people always do this to me. i'm always left in the clouds
and i never know what's going on. i hate that. it shows
just how much people care. i've had almost everyone do that
to me. just leave me hanging. this world is so frustrating.
i know i'm not going to make it this year. this year is
gonna be so painful. argg i hate my life. i'd shoot myself
but i have no access to a gun. i don't know how i'm going
to make it through this year and then the next. I don't
even know how i'll make it through the rest of my fucking
life. i hate everything. i'm sick of always being dumped
on. life sux. people suck. goodbye.