lovechic145

Ha, Coming from a close friend..

Ha, Coming from a close friend i turst and would give
anything for our friendship, she shared with me this
website, soo ill give it a try! (she said it would help me
vent my problems) but in reality im shy when it comes to
expressing how i feel, especially if i think it makes me
look stupid. I guess its all tat stupid teenage shit ive
had to go through to get where i am now. All the heartache
ive grown accustumed to. Having my hands pouring with guys
(21 to be exact this year) but not having 1 relationship i
could totally be satisfied with or something that actually
mean a lil more then me then just having that title as "a
couple"..ugh that word scares me.. having commitment when
your 15 and havent really had any experience in the dating
world, kinda scares me. Ive been through a lot of pain with
relationships lately..well actually about in the past year.
out of the 20 guys...21 now to be exact i can think of
about 1 guy that i have never been able to forget or regret
being with him, but i must say i was the bitch who ruin
things with him. I guess i take a lot for granted, for one
me and his relationship, i totally messed that up, and even
though im 15 and dont know jack shit about relationships,
hes still the one I think about every minute. its Kinda sad
im stressing over something so childish i just cant seem to
let go. I was never really like this, i never had guys
crawling to me beggin to "get with" me, it all happend when
i went into 9th grade, up before then rarely guys ever
showed interest with me, and so i was kinda shy and prude
when it came to my first relationship. It kinda always
puzzled me how harsh other ppl can be i mean i recall being
called prude..and then when you do a lot of shit with guys
ur called a slut, its just like you can never be perfect or
accepted for who u truely are because we all act so fake
just to be loved. So anyways the point im trying to get at
now is that i guess the only reason i act like i do and
shuffle through so many guys is because i was never used to
the attention before and now that i have it, i take it for
granted and just can't help myself for wanting more.
But trust me i havent been the one in the relationship to
always fuck them up, ive been with a few guys who i truely
cared about, but all they did was hurt me by telling me
lies and acting like our relationship was just a game to
use me...AHHH MY HANDS HURT AND I LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT
CUSE SOME 21 YEAR OLD JUST CALLED FOR ME!!! HAHA SOO Next
time im feeling creative or some thist ill finish this up
aight........