my thoughts and views and stuff
Ad 2:
2002-12-18 20:49:33 (UTC)

confusion once again...

You know how it is when you think that you almost have
got everything figuresd out and then evrything just blows
up in your face????? Well if you dont i can let ya in on
it first hand here. i thought that i had everything figured
out until about 3 days ago. Its kinda weird how i had been
having dreams about clint and i hadnt talked to him in soo
long. well just out of the blue he started talkin to me
like 3 days ago. and has been talkin to me every day since.
and he said that he was talkin to me b/c he missed me?? oh
man am i confused. i really dont want to start liking him
again but somehow i know that thats how its gonna end up.
probably b/c of like the past 4 expieriences? maybe...yah
think? it's just that he's always been special to me, no
matter what everyone else says. When everyone else told me
that i was a complete idoit, that i could do better...i
still liked him and he was that better that they were
telling me i should go for. And everytime that i start to
talk to him i start liking him again and soon i have fallin
head over heels and he breaks my heart again. not sayin
that i loved him....but i think that was as close as you
can get without actually being "in love". i just dont know
if i can do it all over again...you know the whole me
liking him and him not liking me thing. i dont think i can
talk to him and just want to be friends. it has been
bothering me all week now. plus i have been sick so i just
look like im some zombie b/c ill be stareing out into space
thinking about him and what in the world he wants since he
just started talkin to me and being all nice. ooooohhhh its
sooo confusing. and it really doesnt help that ill be seing
him in like a little over a week at new years.
every one is gonna think im absloutely crazy for even
talkin about this but as i have previously stated i dont
exactly care that much what everyone else thinks. 'cept God
and the p'rents. i thought that i had all the guy troubles
worked out but here they are again. and i have previously
learned that you just cant stop talkin to guys...they dont
quite like that and they kinda feel like you are ignoring
them. :-/ and well i guess you could take it as if i were
ignoring them, im not they best at working out problems.
well i guess i'll end this b/c if i keep typin it'll make
me think of something else to worry about. so later.