This is the beloved air I breathe
2002-12-18 19:27:09 (UTC)

Passion and Purity

I've been reading this book by a woman named Elisabeth
Elliot. She is a remarkable woman of God and she has gone
through so much in her love life. God has used these
experiences in her life that she has been able to write
books and speak all around encouraging other women and
sharing her wisdom with them.
In her book,there is a concept which I extracted about
waiting. Elisabeth Elliot and her husband fell in love
with each other in college, but he felt he was being called
to the mission field and she to a life of singleness for as
long as God would have it. for three years, after
professing their love to each other, the did not have
communication with each other. after that it was another
two years before they were married. She said that in her
waiting, she had to remember not to always be looking so
much at the future that she forgot the present all
One of the things that I love about this online journal is
that I'm able to extract lessons from my real life
experiences and lay them out. It's actually very helpful
for me to see myself. Through my life though, I tend to
focus constantly on the future. I'm always thinking about
it: next week, next semester, next year, when I'm married,
when I'm graduated, when I see my best friend at Christmas
it happens on all different levels. Of course there is a
healthy amount of planning and preparation that must come
with life, it's foolish not to attend to the things which
much be taken care of.
Most people have a phillosophy of life that says "live each
moment to it's fullest" or taken to the most
extreeme...totally disregard consequences and to exactly
what you feel at this moment.
How do I find a happy medium? I have realized that I need
to spend a little less time focusing so much on what I
think is going to happen in the future and more time on
loving the people I have here in my life now.

I don't want you to get the idea that I'm some girl who has
her head in the clouds and eyes always fixed on tomarrow.
I love my life so much and I do live it well, but I guess
you could say that I have gained perspective.

since my last entry I have gained the perspective of
things. When I said that I gave things up to God, I really
meant it. I realized soemthing to...I don't need to hang
on to my feelings for him just because I think I'm supposed
to be with him. If God intends for us to be together, when
the time is right, I dont' think I'll have any problem
being attracted to him.

I have realized that I have spent a while focusing on the
one person who doesn't love me exactly the way that I would
like him to at this point in time and I'm missing out on
the fact that I have SO MANY PEOPLE WHO DO LOVE ME!

God has blessed
my last exam is today and after that I'm goign to have
time to read my own books that I choose to read. I'm going
to finish Passion and Purity and I'm going to continue to
pray for renewed perspective on life