Sam

Sam's journal of random thoughts
2002-12-18 05:17:19 (UTC)

Lots of new stuff.......

Well, Andrew broke up with Violet. It sucks and I feel
sorry for her, but something kind of got to me the day
after it happened. She said "He didn't even tell me why."
And I, being ever blessed with being able to say the right
thing (yeah, right...) said "Well, you didn't tell me
until 2 weeks afterward." This made her kind of sad, and I
felt bad for saying it. But it was true. The first thing
that came to mind when she said that was "Karma". For
those of you that don't know what that is, to put it very
bluntly, Karma is pretty much what goes around, comes
around. I never wanted her to be hurt, but it happened,
and she was sad for the same reason that she made me sad,
and was complaining about something that she did to me. I
wasn't in a good mood on that day to begin with, so that
may have had a little bit to do with me saying that. That
and I was getting kind of frustrated with her before that.
She never talks to me outside of newspaper anymore. I
don't try all the time, but that's because whenever I do, I
get shot down. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being a big
girl about all of this.

It might be good for Andrew (and me...) that this
happened. I never admitted to it, but I was still kind of
jealous of him. I'd see him holding her hand and talking
to her outside of class, and I'd just want to kick him
right in his jimmy. I don't know why I was still jealous
if that's even what it was, but I was. A lot of people
didn't even know what happened to Violet and I until I told
them the Saturday after Andrew broke up with her. I had to
tell more people the six month thing, and every girl has
said the same thing "Oh my god! That is so sweet!" And
every guy has said one of either two things "Damn. If you
pulled that off, you would be my idol." Or "Whoa. How
much would that have cost you?" Meh. I guess it's all
just another brick in the wall......

Christmas is right around the corner, which also would have
been 8 months, which would have meant 2 presents, so I'm
saving a hell of a lot of money this year. I spent $40 on
my friend Justen though, so he damn well better like what I
got him...

I kind of like another girl....I guess. She's cool, and
pretty and everything from what I can tell, but when I talk
to her friends, they say stuff about her that I didn't know
and that she already has a boyfriend, so whatever. I don't
need a girlfriend to be happy. Never have, never will.
Don't get me wrong, I was very happy with Violet, and was
sad as hell after she broke up with me, but I just never
have needed a girl to make me happy. Plus, I'm going to
Russia for a month in a week, and need lots of spending
money, so I tried to hold off asking anybody until later.
I finally caved and decided to ask her out, but then I
pussed out, of course, and didn't ask her. Meh. Maybe
when I get back.

Another thing that happened that kind of pissed me off was
when I was asking if there were any good movies out when I
was thinking of asking Heather out, is everybody started to
pry, which I expected. But Violet pried a lot. This
wouldn't normally bother me, but when her and Andrew first
started going out, I asked if they were, and she literally
screamed at me (in e-mail form) that it was her business
and to "FUCK OFF". But, it ain't nothin' but a thing. I
was kind of scared to tell her at first anyway, because
here and Heather are friends, and we all know that route...

Guess what boys and girls! It's "music that has a message"
time again!

Ginuwine, Loon, etc.
"I Need a Girl Part 2"


Ginuwine]
Ooooh ooo-oooooh

[P. Diddy]
Yeah, this that bounce right here

[Ginuwine]
Come On Now!!!

[P. Diddy]
Time to move on, time to be strong
Don't stop now straight to the top now

[Ginuwine & Mario Winans]
Someone who truly understands,
how to treat a man.This is what I need

[P. Diddy]
Girl you made me believe again
If you happy then be with him, go 'head mommy breathe again
Go 'head mommy breathe again, don't stop now straight to
the top now
Go 'head mommy make it hot now
I need me a love that's gon’ make my heart stop now
And what I need is simple, five foot five with dimples
Potential wife credentials
Know about the life I'm into, life I've been through
And how I had a trifilin mental
So ride with me, G-Force fly with me
Times get hard cry with me, die with me
White beach sands lye with me
My advice is forget the limelight
Let's make love, while we listen to Frank White
So tight, now I understand life

[ Mario Winans, Ginuwine & P. Diddy]
What I need
(Yeah take that)
Is a pretty woman next to me
(A pretty woman yeah baby)
To share the dreams that I Believe
(Dream with me, believe in me)
Maybe we could start a family
(Start a family baby)
Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man
This is what I need

[Loon]
Listen to me now what should I say now? Come on ma
Been a whole day now I wanna lay 'round
And sip coladas, dipped in Prada
I'm as cool as Erik Estrada, dipped in dollars
We out in Vegas Nevada, bubble bath in the champagne glass
'Bout the size of a campaign ad
You don't know how you look to me
But if love was a crime you be a crook to me
Cause mommy I've done been around the world, seen alot of
places
Been around your girl believe I read faces
I can tell she don't want me prevail
But I, learn my lesson watchin Sean bless it
So why listen to her and start guessin?
Mommy you ain't ready to ride to start dressin
I need a girl receive my mom's blessin
Confession, my love no contestin
I need affection

[P. Diddy]
Yes I need affection, let's go Mario!

[Mario Winans]
Girl what the hell is on your mind
I could be dumb but I'm not blind
There's somethin leakin in your mind
Don't look to good for you and me, always did agree
That ain't what I need, baby…

[Mario Winans & Ginuwine]
What I need,is a pretty woman next to me
Oh please baby
To share the dreams that I Believe
(Mario Winans: I need a girl in my life)
Maybe we could start a family
Start a family baby
Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man
This is what I need

[P. Diddy]
Ay yo the sun don't shine forever
But as long as were here then we might as well shine
together
Never mind the weather, go somewhere and get our minds
together
Build a love that a last forever
So let's stop the pain, stop the rain
Put, stress to rest girl stop the games
Name the spot, mommy I got the plane
Roll through rough, I got the range
Ma I got some thangs, knowned to put rocks in rings
Push a hundred foot yachts and thangs
Your man don't play, have you ever been to St. Tropez?
Or seen a brotha play Amando Lay?
Girl I wanna just, look in your eyes and watch the sunrise
No more lies, no more tears to cry
No more reasons for leavin, do I believe in?
Love you till the day I stop breathin’, I love you girl

[Mario Winans & Ginuwine]
What I need, is a pretty woman next to me
(Standin next to me girl)
To share the dreams that I Believe
(When I wake up in the morning)
Maybe we could start a family
(I wanna see your pretty face, yeah)
Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man
This is what I need

Is a pretty woman next to me
To share the dreams that I believe
Someone who truly understands, how to treat a man
This is what I need, is a pretty woman next to me
(standing next to me.. girl)
To share the dreams that I Believe
(When I wake up in the morning..)
Maybe we could start a family
(I wanna see you’re pretty face baby..)
Someone who truly understands baby, how to treat a man
This is what I need

Is a pretty woman next to me…


Goldfinger
"This Lonely Place"


You come around to see your boyfriend
You come around to feel the pain
It was yesterday he tried to use you
But you still go through it

Again you took it away
Again you let yourself stay

'Cause I've been around
This lonely place
Lonely place before

I've been around
This lonely place
Lonely place before

You find out he's been lying to you
You find he had another girl
But you never stand up for yourself
You never stand up to him

He takes it away
Again you let yourself stay
Again you gave it to him
You said it's the last time he does it again

'Cause I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

Again you took it away
Again you let yourself stay
Again you gave it to him
You said it's the last time he does it again

'Cause I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

Now you've got a choice
to leave your place
your lonely place behind
be true to yourself now and let it go
it's better than you think

I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

I've been around
this lonely place
lonely place before

Prince
"When Doves Cry"


Dig if u will the picture
Of u and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can u my darling--can u picture this?

Dream if u can
A courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and u

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflies all tied up
Don't make me chase u
Even doves have pride

How can u just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold, world so cold
Maybe I'm just 2 demanding
Maybe I'm just like my father 2 bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like when doves cry.

And good songs that you just need to hear:

"Livin' in the sunlight, lovin' in the moonlight, havin' a
wonderful time" by Tiny Tim

"Love At First Sight" by Kiley Minougue (the remix is
better)

And a bunch of other stuff that I am too lazy to write.

Now for the cheery Sam part!!

No more serious thoughts for the day. They get me all
bored. Some words you need to live by are "Don't take life
too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive." Do you
know who said that? Bugs Bunny!!!

My friend Miles and I are starting our own band called "Ura-
Nation" Get it? It works on so many levels!!!!!! Well,
just two actually......but still! Our first album is going
to be "Pants of Voodoo" We are both going to sing, he is
going to do all of the other music stuff, and I am writing
most of the songs. It's fun to sit and think of lyrics,
because we are going to be a funny band. All of our songs
are offensive, funny, and barely make sense. Just like
most great things in life.

Have fun everybody, and remember, life may suck for a
while, but it will all turn around. If something really
bad happens, just surround yourself with friends, and don't
think about it. I learned that the hard way...




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