plain ole me.
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2002-12-17 19:33:14 (UTC)

trying something new.......

Well i'm not sure why i'm even starting this diary, my life
is so boring, and i'm sure no one will be interested in
what i say or think anyway. I can't even get a guy to call
me back after i've talked to him the first time.
The thing is I'm 22 going on 40. I became a single mother
after I got enough courage to get rid of the biggest
mistake of my life. "R." The love of my life for 4 long
years. The only love of my life....that is, to me it was.
But after those years of abuse, cheating, lying and just
pure hell........ i finally let go. I still Love him but
I'm ready for someone to treat me right. Is it asking to
much to have the right to be picky after all i've gone
through. I think I should be able to say exactly what i
want and get it, and not settle for less. The only problem
i have, is that i'm not sure that guy exists. I know people
who are reading this probably think " here we go again,
another whiner, with no love life." You all probably think
i'm some poor ugly sap. Well to the contrary, i'm very
attractive. I have no problem finding men, their just not
the right ones. In my town, all they want is one thing, and
i only gave that out to one guy and look what i got. I have
a beautiful child, but 4 years of sleeping with the guy and
i never experienced the "Big O". So i'm not interested in
having an affair or a fling or whatever they might call it
these days. I have a triplet sister, who is identical to
me, and i watch her go from boyfriend to boyfriend. She's
complained because she's had 17 boyfriends, and i told her
she should be so lucky that that many guys were interested
to "Be" her boyfriend. I've had 2. But she'll settle for
anything, i won't. Now that i have a child, my chances are
very limited. Not alot of guys want to date someone who
already has a kid, especially not the guys my age. But I
can't change that.