Blue Castle reverie

bipolar mommy

I don't think that I'll ever figure my mom out. Sometimes
we act more like best friends than mother and daughter (if
you've ever seen "Gilmore Girls", rather reminiscent of the
relationship.... minus the whole teen pregnancy, single mom
thing... but the interaction is a lot the same). Others,
however, (and this is the case more and more often) we are
screaming at each other. My dad says we are too much
alike, and I guess that's kind of true. We both have short
tempers, and we both get upset easily, etc. But that's not
really all of it. She changes from minute to minute, and I
never know what will set her off. As I was getting into
the shower, she was screaming at me about picking up a pair
of shoes I'd left by the door, and about how I'm always
such a slob, and how I need to start taking
responsibility. And not ten minutes later, she came
downstairs, kissed me on the forehead and told me
goodnight, and not to stay up too late, because she didn't
want to be tired at school tomorrow. Right. We have this
cyclic love-hate relationship, and I don't know which side
is really her. I love her so much, but she can hurt me so
badly. She alone has been the cause of more tears than
everything else in my life combined, twice over. But I can
never stay mad at her. I always keep loving her.