My Heart and Soul....
2002-12-17 04:22:11 (UTC)

I'm still here....

Just thought I'd check in to let you all know that I am
still alive....

I've been pretty damn sick lately. Went to the doc today and
got a perscription, she said I could have mono, and the only
cure for that is rest....that would piss me off, cause I
don't have time for mono. Nope I don't.

But other than that, I am doing pretty damn good. Single
still, but I am coming to terms with that. It's just the
holidays that bug me. You know how that is. I do miss
having someone to share it with. But I've been thinking, and
really, I don't know if I would want that again. I woulnd't
change it for the world, but I don't think I'd start over
with David again. I loved him more than any guy I've ever
known, but... I can't see the sense in dwelling on the past.
He's just like the other guys in my life, I will never
forget them. I've been talking to Joe a lot. You all know
how that was with him. But even with our history, I miss
what I had with him. Somone who was always there for me,
someone who loved me unconditionally, through some of my
hardest years. I know everyone hated him, but no one will
ever know what we share. Same with me and Dave I guess. I
spent a lot of time with him and his pals in Lansing, not
too many people over here really knew him, and knew what we
had. He was the one guy who talked about a future. The
what-ifs. IDK....I can't explain it. I'm weird about my
ex's. Possesive I guess.

BUT still, I'm chill. I'm ok with being single. I'm ok with
the way things are. The holidays are going to be great,
cause Amber is gonna be home, so I can chill with all my
friends, and hopefully Carrie won't throw up on any carpets
this year! LOL (I'm just playing carrie, I didn't mind
cleaning up strawberry daquiries and scotch...it was fun)
Hahaha, and I don't have a boyfriend, so I can't worry about
my sister trying to kill him with kazoos, or his best friend
talking to gaby with a boner...HAHA good times....

damn....ok...so just so everyone knows, EVERYTHING is cool,
and I'm gonna make it through this holiday with a LOT of
hard work and PRAYER. (no, I'm not a Bible thumper, but my
greatest strength in life is prayer, it gets me through the
good times, and the bad times....so if you don't like it, DEAL)

I love you all.....

miss you too!