2001-08-31 01:13:46 (UTC)

"this loss of self control i fear is never ending......."

i fuckin hate my life and i hate my family and i hate
myself. i hate my personality and i fuckin hate my mom
more than ne thing right now. my b/f really pissed me
off tonight. it might sound stupid or whatever he was
like god ur friend looks older than u do.... and i was
like oh well maybe her face does but i have more of an
body than her and he was like don't call ur friend flat
and that just pissed me off he can be so insensitive
and i don't know maybe i'm just holding back because
of bad relation ships i've had in the past i'm not sure.
i'm just afraid he's in this relationship for the wrong thing god my mom fuckin pisses me off my mom and
dad fought today i think that's why i'm in a bad mood
and i know it didn't leave my mind i feel like they always
play mind games w/ me one min they're in this like huge
fight and few hrs later they're fine but the damage has
already been done to me. maybe that's why i'm in such a bad mood because of those assholes blamin shit on me when they fight and because i forgot to take my adderall today
which calms my anger.