2001-08-30 22:27:17 (UTC)

heartbroken..with little hope

I called him over and over yes i know i sounds
pathetic...or maybe I just love him. Finally my mom helped
me be a stalker and we drove my his house to see if he was
home, I saw him in his yard, so I drove down to the store
by his house and called him, the first time..no answer the
second time it was him. I aske if he could talk to me now,
he said yes, and i asked if he was sure. Then there was a
very very long silence....then he said what do u wanna talk
about, and I said us..and he said what about us, i asked if
we were still a us and he said he didnt know...I dont know
was the answer to most of his question. He said he was
sick of this, and he said he didnt know what he wanted. I
asked if i could come over there and talk to him he said he
didnt care but his freind was over..and he wasnt gonna
leave his freind for me. Then we said are sides of the
arguement a little..i said I didnt want to lose him and I
was being stupid. *I really really dont wanna lose him* I
was talking to him this whole time on a pay phone then I
had to leave. I got home and called him and he said he was
working and asked if he could call me later. There was no
I love you at the end of the sentence....there was just
tried to call people to talk to but no one answered the
phone. Why cant things just go my way....I love him,
everything about him even the arguements....i know we can
pull through..why doesnt he.