con4cyn

The Good, The Bad, and Me
2001-08-30 19:36:11 (UTC)

MY Top 3 Breakups of All Time Part 2

Ok here's my number 2 breakup of all time!!...

Alright so I'm 17 years old, and I have gained an obsession
with computers...the internet specifically. I spend a lot
of that summer before my 18th birthday online. I meet this
guy on there. I'm glad I'm making friends. This is to be
the beginning of my disastorous stint with dating guys from
the net. For a hint, this and the next one I met online. My
boyfriend this time around was 3 or 4 years my senior. In
fact he was a senior in college. I loved (love) older men.
Everything went fine between us in the beginning..well
except that one time with my Dad. My ex, even to this day,
is kind of scared of him, and supposedly he still has
nightmares about.The details of what happened there are a
little too traumatic and a little TOO embarassing to state
here. After that ordeal, my boyfriend took me to a nice
japanese restaurant and bought me a gold necklace with my
birthstone for my birthday. The great thing about it was
that the next month I'd be going to college and living in a
dorm. We had a lot of freedom after that, but with that the
relationship just went downhill from there. I keep
remembering how I always wanted to meet HIS parents, but he
wouldn't take me down to his house. When he broke up with
me the reason for the breakup was the same reason for why
he never let his parents meet me. It was because I was
black. Oh no! Heh. As most of my boyfriends, friends, and
anyone who'll read this will find out is that I'm not
a "normal black person" which is whatever you interpret of
what a "normal black person" is. From what he told me his
mother didn't speak to him the whole time after she found
out, which was like two months I think while we were
together. I guess my ex couldn't handle it and it was
either his mother or me. So, I went bye bye.
Oh! Its not over yet! During those few weeks of healing
that heart that he kind stepped on, we stayed friends. One
day, while my roommate had gone home for a break, I woke
with a phone call from him. He was downstairs in the lobby
of the dormotory. I got dressed as quickly as possible and
freshed up, and met him downstairs. He had skipped out on
work to see me, and he brought me lunch. We went walking
through a park, and talked which was nice. Back at my dorm
he admitted to me that he hated that he had to break up
with me for that dumb reason. We made up, but we never
actually decided to get back together. We basically had the
freedom to be with other people, because we really werent'
together. For some reason everytime I did something with
someone else he'd get upset, and vice versa. Relationships
like that never work, and I can say that because I've been
there. Its best to not have any strong feelings for that
person initially. He got so angry with me he stopped
talking to me just like that. *snaps fingers* That hurt. To
twist the knife even further, even when I knew he was
ignoring me on purpose, was the fact that he decided to
screw one of my friends who felt he actually cared about
her. HA! I don't speak to her anymore, but for some reason
thats a pattern in my life that I haven't been able to
shake since. I have a relationship with a guy, and he says
he likes me and I say I like him, and then he runs off to
another girl out of the blue, or that other girl is a
friend of mine. Some people wonder why I'm so depressed
sometimes. God! The relationship that came next is going to
need an entry all on its own. Its the reason why I'm so
completely jaded, numb, overly sensitive, angry, and
depressed. It put so many beliefs in my head that are wrong
I don't know where to begin to correct them or myself. But,
let me collect my thoughts and I'll write them down
tomorrow. See you.

con




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