Nick's Journal
2002-12-16 13:46:16 (UTC)

Misunderstand People

Misunderstand people. well if you want to be liked that
is. don't buy into that bullshit when they say, "nobody
ever understands me!", because truthfully, we like to
think we'll always be an enigma. by being and enigma to
people we still have the element of surprise and autonomy.
once somebody knows who you are you've lost both of those.
just think about it.
the person that now knows you already assumes everything
you do, and if you are indignant do their assumptions and
asser that you do want to go against what they think,
they're just under the notion that you want to disprove
them. furthermore, people like to stay enigmatic because
they are under the impression that they are complex, and
the one horror for everybody is to be grouped into a
generalized basket of people. everybody likes to be under
the impression that they're different, special, and worth
finding out. they say they want to be found out and
understood because the search conducted thrills them, but
then the hypocrisy comes at the end if someone actually
does understand you. because now you've lost yourself to
that person. it's almost as if you've given over a golden
key to your soul.
everything you now do, they are "pretty sure you were
going to do that", or they don't even consult you with an
open mind anymore because they already know what you will
do. and the very fact that they act like this traps you,
and your only chance of getting out is to rebel against
their notions, but then you're doing exactly what they
think you're doing.
so why misunderstand people? why just "don't understand?"
well here's why : because, if you just "don't understand"
then most likely you're not giving a flying fuck about the
person and they WANT you to TRY and understand, so many of
our friendships are based on this trying, and if we just
don't try then we lose a basic element to our foundation
of friendships. but the main reason to misunderstand
somebody is because (beneath all of their haughty
declarations of how nobody can ever understand them),
they're a bit relieved that they are still too complex,
that you sitll have to try. by misunderstanding people
you still humbly respect their autonomy and individual
psych, since your'e essentially saying that it is
indicative of them and something that you can not decipher.
anyhow, of course it doesn't hold for every damn
situation, i mean when someone tells you their problems
i'm sure they don't want to hear "what the fuck are you
talking about, i don't understand you", we all know when
this is to be considered.
it's just mainly a method to keep people from freaking out
and thinking that they lose psychological sovereignty over
their own mind, since you invade it with every one of your
declarations of, "well you normally don't do this, so you
won't do this, so i just figured....." let people think
they're still a mystery, and i'm sure you'll see they'll
appreciate you for it.