Lenore the fool

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2002-12-16 12:55:31 (UTC)


Tonight was a weird night. I hung out at M house and
watched a movie, her cousin was there. He's really
cute and through the movie we sat next to eachother
and he had his arm around me and i couldn't tell if he
just wantedto be friendly or whatever. And then they
both walk me to the car and hugs and all good bye, I
was gonna comeback but my parents decided to be
stupid and didn't let me go. So i have been frustrated
beyond belief tonight. Because it's raining I haven't
been able to go out on my walks or anything so i have a
bunch of pent up energy and i couldn't find any way to
release it. I walked breifly in the pouring raining and
rushing wind. But my dad had a cow cause i was
walking at 2am in that weather. So I've been sitting on
the porch listening to music (new found glory) watching
the rain in nothing but a t-shirt and "apartment"pants
which are tin sweats. And i finally calmed down and
relaxed enough to be able to stand my house.
I get online and talk to my friend and it turns out her
cousin thinks i'm hot. Which is a yay thing sorta but
there is no knowing whether he will actually do any
pursuing. partically because i am like his cousin's best
friend so it's like he can't just treat me like a fling or just
"use" me and treat me like shit. there has to be
something more there, but i dunno if he'll find anything
worth it in me. But i sorta hope he does, I have always
liked him, and honestly of people built the way I am
attracted to he is that and i'll never have to worry about
weighing more than him. maybe I will get a boyfriend of
this break after all.