Michellelg27

The Daily Chronicles of Michelle
2002-12-15 07:09:32 (UTC)

I am an Adult Damn it!

Sometimes don't you ever feel like you can neverdo
anything right? I know I do. I get in "trouble" for stupid
things like being on the telephone! The problem is I am 28
years old!! I hate being treated like a child!! Not only
that but when you are sick in bed people don't
alwaysunderstand. Like my friend, Amy want me to come over
but I feel like shit! I was hoping she would just want to
talk to me on the phone so I can feel better! But here I am
typing in this journal! It seems I can never please anyone!
Sometimes I dont know what to do because sometimes I
scarfice my happiness to please others. I know its ok to do
from time to time but sometimes I do it too much. My
problem is I grew up naive,protected and sheltered. I
always assumed that people gave a damn when they realy
don't!

I used to think that life would be easy. I would get a
good career, a house, a nice car and maybe some kids. I
thought by 21 I would be totally independent. I think that
there is something wrong with life if 20 year ols still
live at home! It's pathetic not on our/my part bt just the
way society is set up. Keep wages low and prices high! It
is bull shit! I have lived on my own before but came up
$200 a month short,not including food. My rent was $450,
utilities $100, car insurance $100, car payment 235, phone
$30,gas $50,. That is about a $1,000/month. I made
$800/month with overtime! I even tried to get a part-time
job! I even budgeted a head of time and thought I would be
ok! From now on I am going mke sure I have a second income
or make at last $1,000/month after taxes! I always knew I
could not make it as a poor person. I was taught how to
live middle class! I wish there would have been some course
in school to prepare me for living in poverty! Isn't the
poverty line $15,000/year? I know way to many people who
make less than that! Its so fucking sad!!! Anyways reality
sucks but I am going to make the best of life that I can!!!
I really want just to be independent and love and be
loved thats all.
Love,
Michelle




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