can't fight the moonlight...
2002-12-15 04:44:38 (UTC)


Got accepted into Framingham State. Yay, I think. I mean,
okay, I got into college! I knew I would get in to FSC,
b/c..well, I know my grades and stuff, and it was my
(financial) safety. So I tell my mom and she goes: "Okay.
One down." Me and Nikki just looked at each other. I almost
cried. Couldn't even get a congratulations?? I mean, we
both knew that I would get in, but come on! Thanks for
killing even some happiness, I appreciate that Mom! She has
such a bad habit of taking something that's mine, and
turning it around so that a) its hers and b) its not even
good anymore! it happens all the time...don't get me wrong,
i love her and we have a really good relationship. but just
ONCE i would like for something good to happen to me and
have her smile, say congratulations hon, and not try and
take credit for it or ruin it! or, even worse, compare me
to nikki.
plus my dad's brilliant plan of if nikki gets into GW. have
me go to FSC, and then him and mom will pay for grad
school. ok, what the FUCK? thats not what i want at all. i
want to go to college, get a job and yeah, i'll go to grad
school. but not neccesarily right after undergrad, and i
don't want to have mommy and daddy footing my bill! i want
to be a teacher--but what if i change my mind? what if i
don't need a masters to get a job? so fucking aggravated.
but this is dad's big plan, and i guess he didn't even
bring it up to mom. so i had my own vicious happiness but
telling mom this plan. whatever.
they dont get that its my future. i wish they fucking would.