kitart

artist's mind
2002-12-14 23:47:59 (UTC)

Worrying

Dammit why does he do this? Leave a despairing message
then no further information, knowing I will see it, knowing
there is no way for me to contact him, letting me worry.
SHIT.

I know he's in pain. but dammit it isnt fair. I worry
terribly and I know it is not about me but he could at
least provide a bit of information. I mean Good GOD!!

what the hell? cannot concentrate I want to call him and
to hell with the consequences. of course he knows I cant
wont. never put him in an awkward poition if I can help
it. Wouldnt it be a bit more fair for him to not do
this??? what does he want writing such things? what does
he expect? dammit dammit dammit!!!!!!

IS it worth it? I love him, oh I love him. but hte pain
this causes is horrible. why???? why is it that I find my
true love to have this complication? NOT FAIR!!!!!!

I am not going to panic. I wont dammit.

damn this all it has me triggered. where the hell is the
razor? what good would that do? none. none at all. He
doesnt think about this. Does he care? does he WANT me to
worry? Is that part of this?

This is not helping at all.




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