Malice

Diary of an awkward child
2002-12-14 17:29:09 (UTC)

surprise im back

yea im back...its been quite a while. i dunno if a lot has
happened or not. i wouldnt be the one to know, i've
basically been locked up in my house and i hardly get to
see anyone anymore. everything seems to be turning into
shit, my grades, my life. very few things have stayed good.
ricky and i are still together, i dont plan on that
changing ever. i hate all the people at my school except
for ali and alison. other people can be ok but i dont
really like them. i miss my english teacher, i have some
bitchy woman that everyone but me and this girl Kat likes.
we are still trying to get mr. feigelson back. i don't even
know the whole story i wish i did. but they refuse to tell
us what really happened. i wish they could at least tell us
if some of the rumours going around about it are just
bullshit and which ones. but they wont say ANYTHING AT ALL.
they just gave us some teacher named mrs. zenoff. i swear
shes way too perky to be human. i mean jesus christ who
comes in the classroom skipping?? especially if you're a
teacher. god she just pisses me off. i have this weird
feeling that a lot of my friends are going to start
conforming to society within the next 2 years. its creppy
because i can see it happening. i talked with ricky about
how all the people we know are probably going to end up.
the sad thing is, we were right about most of them i can
just feel it. every one is changing. i dunno what the hell
is going on anymore. i feel so empty because im actually
starting to just prefer staying locked up alone in my room
to actually going out. i dont want to be like that, maybe i
just to be able to get out more. i dont know what i even do
in all the time i spend in my room, i havent been writing
in here, i dont watch t.v, i dont really talk online much,
i definatly dont do schoolwork. i mean in the last week i
watched a bunch of old disney movies but only like 1 a day
so it doesnt take up much time. im always bored now, im
starting to get used to that too. christmas is coming up
and i really need to get people presents i havent even
started getting them yet. but what i really need to get is
ricky's birthday present. i need my mom to take me to the
village to get all this shit for people. i sewed myself a
skirt. i used my plaid pants and i changed them into a
skirt. right now its long but im thinking of cutting and
hemming it to be shorter. im feeling so depressed about
christmas. i guess the idea of family is just getting to be
too much for me. i mean, when i started this diary i said
how my friends are my family and they are the most
important thing in the world to me...but i never get to see
them anymore so im just drifting farther and farther away.
i dunno maybe i just need to get away from my house for a
while. i cant think of anything else to say now so i guess
im gonna go. i dunno when ill write again.
i dont feel like saying my usual cheerfull goodbye.
~Malice~




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