SgrNSpice88

The Truth about Tabby
2002-12-14 06:57:47 (UTC)

12-13-2002

Well it has been forever since I have written. Im not
really sure why. I think about writing all the time, I
guess i just dont make time. Anyway, something interesting
has happend over the last two days. I was on the computer
the other day and I saw a screen name on my buddy list who
I haven't talked to in a while. So, out of impulse I IMed
him. It happens that he is a male marine (and we all know
how that goes) but is being shipped to Iran. For some
reason, unbeknownst to me, I told him that he could write
to me if he wanted, and I would write back. (Just in case
he ever got lonely or whatever) Im not exactly sure why I
did that, because I would never give my address to just
anyone over the internet. Especially someone I didnt know
or had only talked to a few times. But I did it. He was
shocked, I dunno but I think he was really touched by the
gesture (from one marine to another of course!) So we
decided to chat on the phone, I mean what could it hurt.
Hes leaving in a few days (TO GO TO WAR) but as it turns
out, he has a very sexy phone voice, and we talked about
all kinds of stuff. Its so strange because its like I know
him. Its like I am comfortable with him and I feel like I
am "whole?". I know that sounds strange. Believe me, I
have wrestled with the whole issue for a few days. But its
like when we talk, we connect. I have told myself over and
over that its WAY to soon to get carried away with a man
whom you've never met, whose going off to war and whom you
may never meet. And I have said that I am SO on the
rebound from Sean and anyone will do, just so I don't have
to be alone. But thats exactly not it at all!! Its the
best feeling I think I have ever felt. He sounds so
sincere and loving. I mean, he tells me wonderful things,
like he's coming back and its almost like hes pleading with
me to wait for him or something. I mean is that wierd? I
have thought that thought and tried to find every possible
wierd thing about it, and ive been waiting for the reality
of it all and the practical side of me to come blaring out
and scream "you idiot! Dont set yourself up! Its too good
to be true!" But nothing happens. Its so natural; like
its always been us. And thats even it, its not "us". We
aren't even in a relationship! Yet I don't question it. I
don't know! Is it possible to be in love with a person
you've never met? Is it possible to even love again?
Still nothing, no thoughts of my ever present stupidity in
relationships. Im trying, waiting.....please....reality...
hit me! Hit me so I can stop with these foolish games.
Alas! A question, what about the other women in his life.
Why doesn't he have a girlfriend? Hes a marine, hes a
male, hes 21, Im sure that there must be a reason as to why
he isnt banging all the women in SC right now before he
leaves. I know every other male marine would do it. Whys
he differnet? Can I tell you a secret? Of course I can,
your my diary....Ive never seen a picture of him. What if
it is to good to be true. What if hes unattractive to me?
Ugh...Im so shallow! Looks arent everything! Focus on how
he makes you feel. Thats what is important. Still...oh I
have a headache. Well I should be off to bed anyway. I'll
pray about and ask the Lord what his plans are. (What if
this is divine intervention? What if this is the man that
god has set out for me? Maybe thats why I IMed him and
gave him my number and address. Because I know it wasn't
me! I would never do such a thing!) Anyway, perhaps more
tomorrow.

Bye for now




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