Darkening Thoughts of Nevia Lexi
2001-08-29 23:42:45 (UTC)

Give me relief

Dear Kelly,

There I was, standing outside, when I saw Kitty kissing
Kris. It was slightly annoying, seeing her being so close
and passionate over a guy when there's no feeling of love
from Kitty's side. Oh, Kris doesn't mind about the lack of
love between them. I mean, Kris doesn't mind sleeping with
her, and all, so long, Kitty keeps him interested with her
body and not with her mind.

Why was it so annoying? Well, it reminds me I have no guy
what so ever, holding me, hugging me, kissing me, or
telling sweet little words to me so I can smile. Here I am,
with no boyfriend, and there was Kitty and Kris drinking
each other's saliva, and they don't want each others' love.

This is hopeless. I hate talking about me being the only
girl without a couple in school. Sure there were girls that
were single - like Phoenix. And there was no crime to be
boyfriendless anyway. It's that peer pressure tend to get
into your face asking why aren't you normal like us, having
a boyfriend, et cetra et cetra.

I mean, can't a girl go on with her life to have no
boyfriend? There might not be the special someone around in
the school or neighbourhood yet. Well, if there was one,
you got to admit, it takes two to dance and I don't think a
guy would like the idea if a girl jumping in front of him
and say 'My friends wants me to have a couple and you are
it. I like you. I don't care you don't like me but you can
be popular if you are seen with me'. He would certainly
have a fit.

I happened to like a guy, he is a senior here. He talks a
lot about everything, and he is funny too. He is smart,
really smarter than me, and doesn't looked like a nerd or
something. In fact, because he was good looking, no one
bothered to realise that most of his subjects that he took
were science and math based.

I wonder if looks were the key to popularity or the fact
you got to be in something hip like a cheerleader and act
snobbish annoying screaming manic girls. Kitty would most
certainly like glare at me if she reads that. :) She is a
cheerleader. Oh, please. I mean, they love to scream. They
are always up to something weird, almost like this tribal
groups that jumps up and down and everyone think they are
so cool.

This is my opinion, and I am writing to kelly, so the
cheerleaders won't get to read my numdane thoughts.

Phoenix's party is still on. She told me she was hoping it
would be a success. I hope so too :):) She is only inviting
those close to her to her private party, so there won't be
a chance of uninvited people coming to her home.

I will write soon, Kelly, after this. I need to answer that
stupid phone. I wonder who was calling me...