xsuperboy

August 29, 2001 6:42 PM

Dear Journal,

So you wanna know how my second year in college is? Not
so good. I'm pretty much in the same place I was last year.
I don't go out, I sit on my ass and watch TV, and that's
about it.

It's been a week since I got here, and it's been rough.
I've met a few people, but no one really seems to be
interested in my company. And if they do, I don't want to
be in theirs. I'm a fucking paradox; I bitch and moan about
not having friends, but when people talk to me, but I don't
really care for them, I do anything I can to NOT be in
THEIR company. Does that make sense? Is that karma or
something?

My roommate's alright. He's a hippie, and he's kinda of
a dirtbag, but it's cool. He's chill and he gives me
cigarettes, so that's about all I can ask. Classes are
alright too, except for fucking math. I went to go take a
placement exam to get into college algebra, and probably
failed it. It sucks too, 'cause I actually made an effort
to prepare for it last night by studying a review sheet and
everything. But when I started the test, almost half the
shit on there wasn't on the review sheet. Go fucking
figure. So I'm probably gonna be stuck taking Basic Algebra
for the second time. God, I really don't know about this
school.

I can't help but think that all this stress stems from
the fact that I haven't made any real friends here. There
has to be a balance. You can't spend all your time
partying, but you can't isolate yourself from the college
experience outside of class. But I'm not isolating myself
by choice. I'm stuck in this social coma, and I'm beginning
to think that it'll never change if I stay here at New
Paltz. Heavy, life-altering shit. Anyway, I needed to get
this shit down, so I don't fall behind in the entries. I'll
write back as soon as I can.

Greg