punk girl, interrupted
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2002-12-13 16:16:52 (UTC)


i think im gonna devote an entry to each person who
completely and absolutley has my devotion in my life. ill
begin with steve...just because he popped into my mind.
Steve and i met online 8 or 9 months ago..and we met for
real a couple weeks ago.he's 20..blond hair..stunning eyes..the most
selfless and pure perosn i have ever met by far. things were kinda
intense..we were
in that"are we together..are we not stage" and the "what is
he thinking? what am I even thinking" stage..i hate
realationships..i am totally closed off and hate any
concept having to do with love, or all that mushy bs
created by card companies. well, i am kinda the same
now..but steve has definately changed me . he totally took
my world and shook it like one if those snowglobe things.
we arent together..and thats okay with me. his heart
belongs to soemone else..but he and i are super close. as
long as i know he isnt gonna leave like every1 else does i
can deal . i think i love him..i even wrote him a letter
tellin him ( and ive never told anyone ..guy wise..that
b4). the ultimate love is that which is self i love him enuf to let him go. plus i haev
this amazing true blue bud in him. he understands my
cutting, my ways others cant(partly b/c of his own
past experiences)..and whe he hugs me so tightly i am
reminded that im not alone int ythis world. that i may just
happen to be worth something. Steve lives in brantford..about an
hour from me(toronto)..but we get to see eachother once or twice a
month..thx to him driving here.knowing he's just a simple phone call
away is such a great feelin...i hope everyone in this world ends up
wth a connection like i have with completely changes you as a
person. whether he chooses to stay or thing is for sure..i
will NEVER be the same.

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