JUST A PHASE

Lil* Black Backpack
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2001-08-29 18:51:05 (UTC)

Simple Kinda Life

Hello..... well yesterday was just a total mess. alright
well I went online and I wrote J'son a letter you know
telling him how I feel about the whole thing, w/ me and him
breaking up. okay he still wants us to be friends,but I
fel like the only way me and him are going to be friends,
was for me to get what I had to say out. So I told him what
i had to say. Well I gues he was online when I sent it and
he got it the min I sent it. He IM me when I was online
and told me, " If u felt like we had to break up before why
didnt I tell me?", so I replied and said, "Thats not what I
meant by saying I was happy we broke up, what I
was.....cus well I really dont know what I meant."
He replied by saying, "Aight then, well Shelley, bye."
Well that just about pissed me off, cus I mean he is always
running away from stuff that he cant face, like reality. I
told him, " Well is this goodbye for good, or what?", and I
didnt get a response, so then I said " Ans by the way there
was something else I forgot to mention, I'm sorry for not
being the GF you always wanted." and I guess that caught
him by suprise and he asked what that was supposed to
mean. SO I told him, " It means what u want it to mean,
J'son I would have done ne thing for u, and im sorry for
not being the gf you wanted, but u know what gets me the
most, is that I would have changed for u, I mean I woud
have killed myslef before I would let ne thing happen to u,
but I'm sure once u are done reading this you are going to
say bye."
Just then he said, "Shelley, you are making me wanna cry
right now, and I love you, and I still wanna be w/ u." So I
asked y he broke it off with me and he said, " its
something im not ready to say yet." right when he said that
I thought I had lost all the trust he had in me before,
andi was confussed and I didnt know what that meant. I
really hope that he realizes that no matter what I will
always have him in my heart. I dont know if ne one really
knows what im talking about, but he was my first love, andi
was hoping he would be my last, but right now I think thats
up to him. Maybe we will be together agian, I would like
that, but I'm not sure how thats going to work out, I dont
think he wants me again, but thats up to him. well I'm
gonna go I'll right again soon -k-

-love shelley


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