Just Another Dumb Blonde
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2001-08-29 18:15:03 (UTC)

this insomniac is keeping busy

well i havent written in awhile, i havent been able to go
online.... im incredibly busy even though i dont have to
work anymore. but its good im busy, cuz then i dont have to
think of everything that is making me sad. until its time
to go to sleep. then i cant sleep, i just lay there and
cry, cuz im not moving around any more, im just laying
there thinking. gosh this really sucks. i am soooooo tired
during the day, im looking like shit lately cuz i dont get
enuf sleep. and when im busy, im always doing somthing that
will make me bruise or bleed(like sports or babysitting) or
other wise fuck me up (like smoke or drink). so yeah im not
to hot. and my stomach is really fat. its so gross. but i
love to eat!!!! haha im gonna be the hugest fatass...
well i havent heard from tyler since the day before he
left for college. i wrote a couple emails, called his cell
once, and got no replys at all. so yeah i knew this was
going to happen, i knew i was going to get screwed over
AGAIN. but dammit i thot he was going to be different.oh
well i guess. i still have feelings for him though. i cant
just suddenly stop liking him!!! my friend caitlin isnt
making it any easier for me. she wants me to move on. she
is saying im "obsessed" and shit. im not obsessed, i just
still like him!!! gawd!!!!!!! i will get over him sooner or
later, but rite now all i want is tyler, i dont want
another guy. but he doesnt want me so im screwed again.