Scenes from a Marriage
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2001-08-29 17:07:55 (UTC)

Wednesday, August 29th

Today is his birthday, the big 32, so he sent me roses for
his birthday. They are 12 of the longest stemmed roses I
have ever seen, they are a beatiful mix of red, pink, and
white. I am not sure what color they are exactly, they are
shaded a perfect mix of all three.

We talked for awhile this morning and I told him we could
still have a child together with the help of a surrogate,
and he said isn't that basically what happened. Not that
it was his intent, but that was the result. He said the
only way he would have contact with her was if I was
involved, making me her step-mom, we would be an every
other weekend family to her. He said if I wanted that he
would seek full custody, that we could prove her unfit, but
that is not a fight I am ready for. Her whole family would
bring out every ghost from the closet, and it is just not
worth it to me. I think I could deal with the every other
weekend thing, and the child support, if we worked together
it wouldn't make that big of an impact. I could put her on
my insurance at no charge and he would just have to pay his
money, and we could keep his commission which is most of
his money anyway.

I mean, I think we could make things work, if we can find a
way to put this all into perspective. If he could be
faithful to me, and not lie for the rest of his life, then
we would stand a chance. We have so many dreams that have
not come true yet, our return trip to Disney World, etc. I
mean it is really sad that it has taken me this many years
to realize just how much I really do love him, and how it
has taken him this many years to decide where he wants to
be. Seems sad to throw it all away....