My diary (Ooh i'm so creative)
2001-08-29 10:17:52 (UTC)

My lesson this week don't have sex with your best friends

yeah well the last few weeks have been a bit of a bitch, I
went to a party, drank a little much...ended up telling my
best friend that I like him and have liked him for a fair
while, then somehow I manage to sleep with him....the
consequences aren't as nice as the sex was...things are
really awkward now and whenever i look at him all I can
think about is that night....Frigan hell....the worst
things is that i liked him so much....well I still do like
him so much and as far as i can see he so doesn't feel the
same way.

Somehow I managed to get angry at him (its just
me being bitchy and manipulative) I didn't say anything to
him or anyone but I can't stand the fact that he can laugh
and be so happy when I'm sitting there with tears in my
eyes because of him...I wish i didn't have to do the whole
girl thing and cry....but I just....I just want him so damn
bad. I wish I could make him smile again, i wish that he
would come over to my house and sleep over all the time
like he used to, I wish we could sit together in class
again, I wish the whole thing didn't happen...I wish too
much!!!! Oh well i guess shit like this happens....and I
sure have learnt a frigan lesson from this....

why can't he want me as bad as I want him....i'd do so much to make
him happy.....why am I telling you this? I guess it just feels
like someone is listening to me and understanding how I
feel...thats what I want...i want to feel like someone
uinderstands...that and I wish it didn't happen. Okay I'mn
going to stop my bitching now - see ya

"Its just hard to think I'll never get the chance to say you're
mine" - Between you and me - The Atari's