this is my life
Ad 0:
2001-08-29 05:30:59 (UTC)

:::rainy day:::

the weather has been like my mood lately...sometimes it
looks like things are going to be alright, and other times
the rain comes down so hard like its never going to get
today was my second day of classes. i had my intro to
computing class at 1:50. right before i had to leave my
house, rain started coming down in sheets. my cute hello
kitty umbrella was in my car, so i grabbed another one and
left. driving sucked because the rain was coming down so
hard that it was difficult to see. i was halfway to school
when i realised i had no gas in my car and no money or gas
card either. i turned around and went home driving with it
on e the whole time jus hoping my car didnt die.
thankfully, i made it. i considered ditching class but
decided against it... that would set the tone for the rest
for the semester and i have tendencies to skip anyways.
anyhow i eventually made it to class and was relieved to
see that i hadnt missed much. the class is so basic, a lot
of the people in there have little or no computer knowledge
at all. i was astonished when i heard some lady ask what a
font was.
after class i went over to fratboy's house (names have been
changed to protect the intimacy-challenged). i saw his new
place and met some of his roomates, and we hung out in his
room for a while. yeah, i know what youre
thinking, "yeahhhh right you and fratboy jus 'hung out'"
but, really we did nothing. you see, fratboy has issues. he
was away for the summer, and he came for a visit and we
spent a few days together. we totally fell for each other.
i know it wasn't onesided... its hard to explain, but it
definetly wasn't. and it wasn't like he acted like he liked
me so he could get what he wanted from me either. it was
real life awesome crazy good falling into something that
jus might turn out to be love. its weird too because i felt
so good when all of that happened and i thought, the thing
that sucks about feeling this good is eventually something
will happen~not specifically with him~ but jus something in
gerneral~and i wont feel this good anymore, and i jus
wanted to hold onto that feeling forever because i knew it
wouldnt last.
and of course, it didnt. fratboy is back in town and
nothing is the same. he told me that since we dont really
know each other that well, that he wants to be friends
before anything else develops- and that he thinks that he
has problems with intimacy. i waited my whole summer for
this bastard and he jus wants to be friends. i jus dont get
it. months ago we were talking about how great things would
be when he got back into town, and now...nothing is the
same. im sick of feeling pathetic and having my mood be the
direct outcome of his actions, and i need to get over him,
but its easier said than done.

drug of choice::::promised land chocolate milk