Julianne

beat1es
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2002-12-12 04:03:05 (UTC)

Get a grip

I totally broke down today. My priorities shut down. I
just started bawling after yelling at my mom. Perhaps I
should apologize to her and tell her I was just feeling
stressed. But it doesn't surprise me that she thought I
wasn't feeling "stressed." She of COURSE, being the
typical Asian Mother... told me that I (!!!) shouldn't have
been the one to procrastinate. What can I do. I just feel
so goddamn overwhelmed right now.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes I wonder if I
do suffer from depression, but you know what... whether or
not I do, my parent's would probably just tell me I
was "growing" or that it was part of "growing" or I just
had to "grow" up. God, going to Spa sounds like a good
idea.

So that's off my chest. I feel somewhat better. You know,
it all comes down to my friends. I've noticed I have some
pretty shitty friends. That treat me like shit. Who the
hell doesn't even bother to say "hi"?! I mean, at
least "hi" is better than walking off w/ an acquaintance
who doesn't even recognize you in a group of drunken 20
year old low lives. I mean, Jesus. Where are you?

And another thing. Friends being a little too friendly.
To the point of exaggeration. There is something called
REALITY. Not EVERYONE has done EVERYTHING. For once, just
tell the goddamn truth and be surprised or don't act like
you have done everything or HAVE everything. Because, I'm
sorry... well, actually I'm not sorry... you don't. Yeah,
your dad makes a lot of money. Whoop di do. Quit acting
like you're trying to be someone down to earth.

So that's my bitchy day. I got yelled at for not making a
sports cartoon the right size. Well, I thought it would be
text wrapped. Mis communication? Perhaps. I don't give a
shit anymore. That class is killing me. Seriously. I
can't stand anyone in there. I think the only people that
keep me sane in that class is Anna and maybe Matt. Good
lord, people (including me) get a grip.


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