listen to my silences
2002-12-11 21:45:53 (UTC)

frustratedconfusedexcited...the usual

i love you
but i'm not giving in this time

good bye to you
good bye to everything that i knew

you're my shooting star

if i could explain exactly what i mean by this...i don't
know maybe i already can and i don't want to be able to.
you'd think, since it's unusual for me to be able to
explain anything, that i would want to explain something if
i can do it. but no, not this time. not really. not yet.

if i could write it without giving anything away to anyone
then i would. but i can't and i know that so i'm not even
going to try.

i'd like to tell you. but i don't want to either. i want
to see what will happen. before i tell you. and
then...maybe i won't have to tell you. maybe you'll
already know. maybe i won't want you to know then because
it will be irrelevant. probably not.

why do i get myself involved in these things? why must i
say everything that enters my head as long as it's what
i've felt recently, even if it's not something i feel now?

or do i?


i sing to her a lullaby

everything's gonna be all right
everything's gonna be all right


i look at you and see those tears in your eyes
and you tell me everything is wonderful now

if anyone knows the name of that last song and the name of
the author, please let me know. thanks. i've heard it
twice in the past two days and i can't remember it for
anything. and it's constantly in my head.

okay well i'm out for my final in chemistry. last class
for this semester. then i'm off to evansville. yay!!!

i move in on the ninth of january. orientation is on the
tenth as well as registration. then classes start on the
thirteenth. woohoo! can't wait!

omigosh they sell a boo that talks! i want one. if i
don't get one for christmas then i'm buying it afterwards.
you better believe it i will. just wait and see.

i could care less what you give me if anything. take no
offense if i don't react if you do get me something. i
expect nothing and want nothing material wise from you. i
don't get surprised easily. and even if i am, i don't
usually react. i won't react if i like something either,
so don't be offended. my big thing is giving you all
something. i don't care what i get, but i want to surprise
you. that's my favorite thing and the best gift in the
world to me.

final thought: just a personal belief i guess.