December 11, 2002 11:49AM (Wednesday)
I haven't posted anything in a while, I know. :s. I finally
got a chance to visit my family for thanksgiving. I can't
post anything about it though, yet. All I can say is that
it was hard being there. I'll post about it later. So much
change is going on in my life right now. I think part of it
must be good. Change can be a good thing right? Anyways,
I'm moving in with this lady from church in Janurary. Her
name is Nancy. She's like a grandma. Last night I came home
too late and so I was locked out of the house. (Elizabeth's
house). She lost her key and so they couldn't leave it in
the grill for me to get in. I ended up sleeping in the gym
at our apartment complex. Well, I kind of took a few naps.
It was too hard to sleep without a blanket and a pillow. It
was cold. But hey, at least I wasn't sleeping outside
right. Anyways, I'll post some more later. Love, Candace.
A poem, thoughts running through my mind, words jumbled,
endless, no meaning.
I walk, run, jump, stumble, hide, sneak, fall, fail... Get
back up??? Yes!!! I must!!!
The apple never falls far from the tree they say.
Can't have your cake and eat it too???
I never understood that, I mean, who would have cake if
they couldn't eat it???
Dissapointment. Oh how I hate to dissapoint them so much.
Naked..... Cold..... Scared........ Frustrated....
My family, so much on my heart.
Secret lies, stolen security, fake serenity.
God's love, His presence, His faithfullness.
It's like a river I was born to play in but I'm always
running away from.
Hiding, skipping, dodging. Gosh damn it i'm so fricken lazy!
I love? Am I even capable of loving?
I hate! Oh how I hate.
God help me to be a lover and a forgiver. Most of all, an
I taste the dew like honey, sweet, and bitter.
Life is like a sour candy, sweet on the outside, and bitter
on the inside.
Let's make the outside last as long as we can?! Nah....
lol. I know it's all just a bunch of..... rubbish....
Hmmm... But still... I wonder.... FOR HOW LONG??? Is this
just a stage that all 20 year-old's go through that will be
over soon? I sure hope so...
I think the best word that comes to my mind in describing
the poem above is.... 'Uncertainty'.