Jeff Roberts

The Understanding of Myself
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2002-12-11 03:34:43 (UTC)

a D- in life not only in math class

yea so i get to math today to find out that i'm gettin a
60.9 for my grade in math...which fucking blows cause my
mom is gonna get so pissy about it. Oh well i'll have to
actully try now. Even when i do try i just dont understand.
The world is too complicated for me to comprehend.
shouldn't i be able to just count to 10? well i bought a
new back pack which is cool. my work is really sweet i
actully have fun working at Eastern Mountain Sports. its
not as bad as i thought it was going to be. Its just been
an intense drained out day. tomorrow will not be as clean
as today. i have a test in math that will determine my
grade basically. An english test that will do great good or
great bad on my English grade. Spanish is spanish...and
spanish sucks. well another day no dollar i guess.
Emotionally i'm feeling ok for once. except for the fact
that i'm doing terrible my love life is starting to go back
to stable instead of a Coma of a black heart. i wish i
could travel in time. That would be really sweet. i'd
change so much...can't really name specifics cause i dont
know them at this point of time, but believe me i would
change many things.Oh well somethings you just can't do. I
need sleep. I wonder what it felt like for Jesus to be
crucifed and if i'll ever feel a pain so tremendous and
terrible like that or if i've felt it before. just a weird
rant that was. someday i wanna watch the sunrise alone and
with someone who means dear to me so that i can share a
bond with someone that is truely meaningful and more
extensie then any other feeling. My eyes are really heavy
kinda like the weight of all my problems are on me and
won't cease till Friday December 20th 2002 at 2:15pm or
whenever i'm going to die. would you rather be surprised
when you die or know exactly the moment (to the second) you
were going to die? I'd appreciate feedback on that one i'm
just curious to see why you say what you say. To quote my
favorite movie "Donnie Darko" which i suggest you watch,
it's spiritually and mentally moving. "i hope when the
world ends i can breathe a sigh of relief cause there will
be so much to look forward to."

Jeff Roberts


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