Mindy aka Cutie

The life of a suicidal Teenager.
2002-12-10 17:26:15 (UTC)

The beggining

Well, I guess my whole suicidal life started when I was in
7th grade. There were these three girls who were my best
best friends. One night they had asked me to spend the
night and I thought, "Hey, cool. A slumber party." What I
didn't know is that it would be the start of my suicidal
tendacies.

I have never done drugs before this night. I smoke my
first joint and got hi off my ass. They gave me a pill and
said it would make me hyper. So, like a teenager, I took
it. It really was a sleeping pill. I conked out and while
I was asleep they had super-glued my face up. My eyes were
completely sealed as well as my mouth. They had the
decency to leave my nostrils open as to which I could
breathe. I put eyeliner and mascara all over my arms and
legs. I woke up about 15 mins after this all had
happened. I slowly pealed the super glue off which tore
off most of my eyebrows and eyelashes. While I was crying
trying to take off the super glue. Denee-one of the girls
sisters-came in with a video camera. She recorded it all.
My crying, effortlessness, and hurt. The next day they
brought the video tape to school. It was life or death.
They told me that they would show everyone what had
happened if I didn't do everything they said. And, I was
scared. This is how it all began. How the first time I
picked up a steak knife and cut the top of my wrists.
Since I was just a child I didn't know where to cut I
didn't know how much better a razor was.

And you know, I still think I should have died that day.
Because without happiness you are nothing. Just skin and
organs walking around in the world. What is the point of
that?




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