The Calamari Files
Shamoan, mother fucker.
Hello my friends.
Well the weekend has passed and it's now tuesday, i've
just had an english tutorial.
Whats been going down then? well, after drinking the
entire bottle of port on thursday, friday went ok, i only
have one piece of work to do- it's a nasty one though,
2000 word iraq essay. So went to a friends flat and there
was about ten homosexuals there, lesbians and
pillowbiters, all getting drunk. then a nice (straight)
american guy turned up with some weed, so we got stoned as
well. I bought twelve cans of beer to try and beat my
record of ten cans drank in a night, ended up getting to
about six and being totally monged.
Then a committee member, james, who is hot, kept drunkenly
trying to `seduce` the straight american guy (Cain) who
was having none of it. James uses the classic tactic of
calling for a game of spin the bottle. this was a good
idea because it means the guy could blame drunkeness and
the game for kissing another guy, and also gets to kiss
girls. see what i mean? text book move. by that time i was
meloned so i played happily.
so spin the bottle began and i proceed to kiss away,
numerous lesbians going at it (sorry i couldn't film it
for you Sam) and i end up getting off with james, who is
hot. But who recently had scabies.....
now this isn't an accusation, this was friday and were now
on tuesday, and im sure there isn't a three day incubation
period, but the fact of the matter is i've not got some
kind of skin irritation which i really think is scabies.
SHOCKER. i've been constantly ill all this semester, i
tell you. it's just in my hands but it's doing my head in.
anyway, what have i done? well i went to poptastic on
saturday but i had eaten very rapidly a cheese and onion
pie and chips about ten minutes before i went, and all
night i just cabbaged about bloated and ill. but crazily,
at the start of the evening i said `why won't they play
any kate bush dammit?` to my friend Ian who is also a fan
of Bush (snigger) and then, last song of the night,
Heathcliffe- the very song i referred to a few entries
ago. Would u adam and eve it?
Over the weekend i got Run Lola Run and the Audioslave
album, both of which are smooth, creamy and uncommonly
good. and yesterday (monday) when the scabies kicked in
dave (not banged head dave, another one) came round with a
bottle of German mulled wine (?!?) so we drank that, but
didn't finish the bottle this time, i couldn't hack it. He
also brought some walnut bread and german cheese. He is
truely a figure of madness.
I watched meals on wheels with jackie chan in, where he
runs a mobile kitchen that... well, it's too crazy so i'll
have to show it you sometime.
Anyway, i'd better shoot, need to get home and then come
back for the lgb meeting. I was going to miss it so i
didn't contaminate the rest of the group but Rhiannon, my
female counterpart, HAS to go and see a comedy show.
Charming. catch u later.
oh, and ed texted me today, and i';ve been texting dave a
bit too, can't wait to see them both.
oh, and when i say "take it easy" i always end up
typing "take it east", which isn't a gang related comment.
just a misprint. Ciao.