sex kitten

life of a porn star
2002-12-10 05:56:18 (UTC)

im a used peice of shit today

well today was to be the ultimate brian day. we were gonna
go to our exam and then all my friends and i were gonna go
out for coffee or w/e. friday i saw him in the parking lot
of school and i asked him to come out with us. so of
course i was excited all weekend. so we get to the exam
and he was kinda quiet. so i didnt really talk to him. so
i told steph to remind him that we wanted to hang out with
him. so she doesnt do it and we take the exam. i went as
slow as i could and the whole time i was starring at him
thinking of how i was gonna say goodbye to him. so steph
and jess fiish the exam early and they wanted to leave.
jess got up and left and steph was pressuring me to leave
too. so they didnt want to go out after all and i was so
pissed i didnt know what to do. so we went to the car and
she is like -im sorry steph, would it make u feel better
if you came to see greg with me? and im like fuck no take
me home! so we are almost to my house and im crying my
eyes out bc i didnt get to say good bye to him and i was
afraid he was mad at us for not talking to him. so we went
to the home depot in east aurora and it was a pain in my
ass. but i was nice about it even though i secretly hate
steph now.
so then i come home and i called maggie and emily to
talk about it. so im online and sitting in front of my
computer and matt imed me. so he is being all nice and
cute and shit. and of course that cheered me up. i was
being a tease more than usual and i didnt want to talk
dirty to him so i avioded it as much as i could bc he gets
off and then he loses interest. so he went to bed and im
here confused and assuming the worst as usual:)
then there was yesterday. me and maggie went to the
mall and to see greg at his dorm. we watched road trip and
the fb game. it was ok at first bc we were all hangin out
at friends, then greg started holding my hand and rubbing
my thigh, so i did it back bc i felt bad but i think i
pissed maggie off. so eventually she is like i think im
gona go outside and have a cigartette. so me and greg
started kissing and i was rubbin his dick through his
pants and then i took it out and was playin with it. he
was all rubbin my crotch and stuf but we kept our cloths
on bc his roomates were in the other room. i felt kinda
trashy and numb afterwards so i guess it didnt mean
anything. i still want brian of course but i cant have
him...he goes home this week for like a month and he will
be with his gf. then i also still want matt but he fucks
with my head and he will never be the way i want him to
be, i definitely dont want to be with greg but i think he
has the wrong idea. i dunno im goin to bed