of little importance
Ad 2:
2002-12-10 04:06:52 (UTC)

i hope you sleep tonight

if i could fix it i would
if i could change her mind i would
if i could make everything go away i would
if i could rock and sing you to sleep i would

i'd do it in a heartbeat.

i wish i could heal you. i wish i could kiss it and make
it all go away. like how i kiss my preschoolers' booboos
when they get hurt.

but i don't think it's possible to kiss a heart.

if it is, let me know.

if i've caused you any stress, i'm sorry. if i've been not
the best of people or friends to you, i'm sorry. if i've
become a drama queen to you, i'm sorry. if i haven't been
there, i'm sorry.

i'm doing my best and i always will. no one can be too
good to a person unless that other person is using them.
you deserve some smiles, and if a rubber chicken is what
will give them to you, then by jiminy i'm going to get it
for you. i'd have gotten the dog, or boo, or whatever
else, if you'd wanted it.

i miss your smiles. i don't want to see fake ones though.
and i know right now those smiles can't be there. but if i
can do or give anything to bring the littlest one to play
upon your dark face then i'll do so.

don't put up a facade to me. i'm glad you can open up to
me like this. i'm glad i can be there and that you're
letting me be there. i hate that this is happening to you
and that things and life went awry. i want you to know you
can always be you with me. i may miss your smiles, but if
you put up fake ones then i'll miss you. i'd rather only
miss your smiles. i can stand losing them once in awhile,
i know that will happen. but i can't stand losing you, and
i hope that won't happen.

i've rambled enough and there are things to attend to. i
hope you sleep tonight. love you.

what do you do when the only one who can heal your tears is
the one who made you cry?

what do you do when the person you turn to when bad news
comes your way brings the bad news?

what do you do when you need help but everyone else expects
you to help them?

what do you do to heal yourself when you can't even see how
deep the cut runs?

i hope that no matter what, you turn to me. even if i am
the bearer of bad news. which i hate to be.

ignorance is no defense.

and for that reason alone i told you. i'm trying to rid
lies from my life. i'm not going to let you believe in one.

i have more to write, but it calls for a different night.