2001-08-28 10:45:31 (UTC)

Entry#3 (Slow Recovery)

I had too do it. Had to go to her place of buisness where
she works. I don't know, I still feel for her. I left her a
note in her car saying if we were done then fine, But there
is no reason to shut me off. She's mean! But yet I love
her?? Whats wrong with me! I told her to help the healing
and tell me whats so bad about me , That she could be so
COLD! God, I feel like the jerk and did nothing wrong. I
need to get over it! So , How do I deal with it??? Find
another........(laugh) Emagine that! There is one waiting
in the wings. But I'd be cruel to get comfort from another
and feel good about it. To use another to help the healing?
Then I would be using, I would be the mean one! I dont want
that , But I am lonley. I need effection. Did my mom drop
me on my head as a child?? I need Gods help bad! What the
hell am I doing??? (any takers?) Night. (whit)