mystik

Who Knows???

Sometimes when i get down ,i sit there and wonder how dad
did what he did to himself,i used to say he was weak and
have not really thought bout the reasons he had and why..
Now that i am older i can relate to the reasons he must
of had,and i would be lying if i said i havnt thought of
doing it myself,i did recently.I can feel myself going out
of control and so far i have been able to talk myself back
into reality..If only people knew .Its so hard for me i do
feel like i was given the raw end of the deal,i appreciate
evrthin i have in life,but life itself,did that make sense
at all???Sometimes i wonder if i am loosin the plot,and
think is this how dad felt is this the begining of it
all..none of this probably makes sense its all my ranting
and ravin,things that i really dont think that people would
understand and its easier to type it all down,than say it
to someone,I know i have distanced myself from evry1 and
evrythin,i have no friends...