*Chi* a.k.a Chanette

Starting from Scratch
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2002-12-09 04:21:35 (UTC)

and the nights grow colder

wow, yeah so this is kinda like the start of something
wonderful huh?? i've finally gotten the strength say
fuck it, i'm gonna write shit where people can see and
think, "wow, that bitch is nuts..i like her."
frip and i are doing much better. i feel closer to her
now, and don't feel as if i need to keep all my feelings to
amy....the girl hurt me, and i know i hurt her. i'm just
glad that i can breathe again. thinking your life is over
when your 19 is awful. but still, looking in the mirror
everyday is still hard. now that i have a constant
reminder of her scarred in my flesh.
i'm flying out friday for a funeral...it's only the
second one i would have attended in my life. odd...but i'm
kinda glad. people dying really scares me, death scares me.
i know my dad is glad that i will be going. i miss him and
after all the things he had to bail me out of, i don't know
how he can still stand to see my face.
well, i think that's a refreshing start. more to come

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