The days of my life
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2001-08-27 13:39:55 (UTC)


Well, I just don't know. Life is weird today. I am more
confused than ever about Dave. I Mean, what is he thinking,
why won't he tell me? Why did he say that about him
completeing me? I want nothing more in this world than for
him to complete me. I want him so bad!!!! I am going nuts.
The question is why do I want him so badly? Maybe it is
because all of my friends left me and I have no one left.
If Dave deserts me, I will not have any friends left. I
really would like to run away and get out of here. Maybe
after this semester is over I can do that. I will just pack
my stuff and run away. I don't really know where I will go,
but hell, I don't have any friends here, so why not just
start over somewhere else? I can already tell that today is
going to be a feel sorry for myself kind of day. Not cool.
I hate feeling like that. Some day I am going to get my
emotions under control. I really just want to stay home
today. but I know that if I do I will just fall behind in
class and that is really a bad thing. God help me. I wish I
could drop out, but I can't afford to. I have already spent
some of the money that I was given for classes and I would
have to give it back. Not cool. Oh well, I will make it
through this semester somehow.
I can't shake that freeky feeling that I got in the kitchen with
Dave!!! It was right after going to till rd. we were standing in the
kitchen and I looked right into his eyes and it was I don't know how
to describe it. It took my breath away. How bizarre is that? It was
almost like I could see our souls touching or something. I know it
sounds weird, but everything with him tends to be that way. I wish he
could either see that or admit it. He fears failure so much that he
ends up doing nothing. I wish I could make him see that. He is
capable of so much and I can see it. He can't. oh well, more about
that later. I have to go to class.