Amber

Amber's World
2002-12-08 01:13:30 (UTC)

Ok, Time to vent..... (caution: language)

God, it's been one hell of a day. I wish i could
talk to Brandon. He always knows how to put me in a good
mood. Anyway, mom and dad got into it really bad today.
Its not the first time and i know it wont be the last. It
was one of the bad ones though, cuz dad was crying. I
think hes starting to realize that moms serious about
wanting a divorce, and hes just scared. He tries to act
like a bitchy, fake, fucking hardass most of the time, but
i see right through these people. Joe (my brother) thinks
life should be handed to him. He refuses to do dishes. He
says thats me and moms job. He needs to get his scraggly
ass another job. that lazyass little bitch gets on my damn
nerves. He needs to get his head out of his ass. Mom DOES
have boyfriends on the side. She may not be fuckin em. But
even kissing another guy is wrong. You learn that when
your a fucking teenager. Shit, Ive never been in a
relationship and I know that Ive seen her kiss Terry on
the lips. Shes a fuckin liar. The kids at school say i
lead such a happy little life just because im not sitting
there at the lunch table trying to slit my fuckin wrists.
And cuz moms nice to them, they think she treats me so
damn good. I think the funniest thing thats happened all
year, is when kids where shocked to find out that i was a
virgin. Just because I read a lot and my mom has given me
so many sex talks so i dont end up like her. I know ABOUT
sex. that dont mean i have personal experiences. God, i
hope this makes sense to anybody who reads this. I dont
think anybodys read any of my online diary tho. I dont
tell anybody about it. I just wish i could be rescued from
my life. In 2 and a half years ill graduate from mt
filthy, and i can go to NYC or some other big city to
study fashion design. and really follow my dreams. I have
goals and im not gonna let anybody stand in my way. i wont
end up like my parents. My mom had 2 kids before she was
25, she didnt graduate high school, and shes looking for
public assistance now. My dad drank himself to death
before he hit 50. Im going to make something of myself.
lord, ive been venting enough...
on to happier things... i got a phone card now. i should
be able to text soon. ive gota concert down at clovernook
country club this coming saturday. mr moore cant wait cuz
they are big benefactors. mr moore is happy when we get
money. i g2g for now. ill try to write tomorrow. love,
peace, and chicken grease ~alw~




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