Dragonette

The Cave
2002-12-07 21:13:09 (UTC)

Just looking for trouble. . . .

So yeah - I did a major no-no last night. Somthing I told
myself I wasn't gonna do. I let. . .no, I wanted Josh to
fuck me - and he did.

So, am I feeling any different now that I'm no longer a
virgin? No. That's what I told Josh afterwards too when he
asked. I don't see why I should, but oh well.

I'm a lot less stressed - but that's a given after sex. The
beer and tequila helped too - but we (Josh and I that is)
were not drunk, Bonnie, his wife however was so shitfaced
her new name is Ralph. poor girl.

Yeah. Josh and I were doing tarot last night and apparently
my interpretations of his cards are scary. Whatever. I
should check mine and see what they say - they're the same
cards, but I know them better somehow. . .strange. . does
that make sense?

Josh and Bonnie's marriage is about ready to go k-put -
it's just their personalities. I mean the only reason they
really got married is because Josh wanted his son, Gabe, to
have a dad - but it's not working too well.

I just think it's really strange that I like Josh as much
as I do. He told me last night not to fall in love. Well,
duh - that gets ya hurt. . .the only problem is, I think
it's too late for that advice. If (when) he and Bonnie get
divorced, he can come live with me.

Fuck. I gotta get out of this town. I really need to move
to the city I go to school in - about 90 miles away. That's
a really fucking long drive to school every week. Josh
drives about 60 miles the other direction for school every
day. That sucks.

Last night was kinda strange. I swear Josh was reading my
mind - at least 3 times. Really fucking strange. He's also
been having dreams about me - apparently I'm an obsession.
*blinkblink* Really weired since Josh hasn't dreamed since
he was in prison.

I told him I haven't had any dreams that I've remembered -
and that that's a good thing. When I have dreams that I
remember after waking they happen - it's really fucking
scary.

Well, this is getting really hard to keep track of. My mind
is jumping too fast for me to keep up.

Peace




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