~AsTrO HeArT~
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2001-08-26 16:13:26 (UTC)

Sunday, August 26, 2001

Dear Journal,
Jeez. Last night I was just sitting and watching music
videos on MTV because I couldn't sleep, and all of a sudden
this breaking news bulliten comes busting across the
stunned, and the first thing that poped into my head was
her top hit song "Try Again." It is so totally shocking
that she died, and really sad. I think that whole accident
kind of spurred the dream I had last night. It was about
our whole Latin class flying to Hawaii only to have to swim
through sharks and look at "playful" and "mean" kittens...
and whoever picked the mean kittens without knowing, would
have to be killed. Ew, I know, I have the weirdest dreams.
But Justin Timberlake was also in the dream and he played a
board game with Michelle and I, haha. Oh well, it was just
a dream.

It's weird... I am hurting from not being able to be with
Ty, and I even wake up in heart ache and he is always the
first thing on my mind before I even open my eyes in the
morning. *sigh* I hope things get better with the two of us

Well, school starts tomorrow. Another year of jammed lockers and
essays by the millions. This year is supposedly the hardest year here
because they load us down with so much work and give you so little
time, also because the graduation project this year is the biggest
one we will ever do in our entire school career. I am just trying to
think of it as a huge challenge, rather than a tedious thing to
constantly worry about when mentioned.

I went with my mom and sister to the mall today and got some new make
up for school because half of mine was totally demolished by the dog,
which was kind of good because it gave me an excuse to get new stuff.
I put magnets on the back of pictures and got my locker mirror out
and put it all in my bookbag; along with getting my jeans and t-shirt
ironed and hung up so I am not running around like a nut tomorrow
morning at 6am trying to get ready in time.

I haven't talked to Ty at all today yet. I sent him an e-mail last
night saying how I was sorry I snapped at him and that all I really
want to do is hold him and make everything ok... which is true. My
feelings for him are deeper than they have ever been and I would do
anything in my power to make him happy. Even though that is kind of
impossible now because we hardly ever talk and when we do he is too
tired to carry on a conversation and thats when I get upset. I think
I just need to learn that sometimes people won't want to talk to me
as much as I want to talk to them and that I should just back off.

Jamie is all happy. She got together with her best friend, Jamie (how
ironic) and they are living together up in Latrobe now. She is even
talking about spending the rest of her life with her already. I told
her to wait a week or two just to be sure... it just all sounded a
little crazy and I don't want her to get hurt, and so she could be
totally sure she wants that now.

No one is online and I am bored, so I am going to download some music
and relax before tomorrow. I'll write more tonight. Adiós for now. :)


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